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Deborah S. Avatar

Interestingly enough, none of my close friends wear makeup which is something that I am just noticing as I answer this question. I mean they wear no makeup whatsoever. Strange!!! I donate all makeup that I have purchased and either don’t care for or doesn’t work for me. I give it to my daughter who is in college and she has a day when she puts all the makeup out and her friends get to take what they want. I rarely return any makeup as I live so far away from any brick and mortar store and mailing back is really a pain. The only thing I really make a point of returning are products that I think were misrepresented to me or were just so horrible that I wouldn’t want to even inflict them on poor college students, LOL.

Roxi Avatar

What?? What kind of friend is that haha. My friends love makeup and buy their own when they like it.. although when I was in college, I had some party friends that would constantly want to share my makeup, some girls would even grab my lipsticks from my clutch without asking in the club bathroom. I’m always so grossed out by these behaviors, I wonder why people do it all the time. One of my best friends in college even used my face brush, like she was at my place, needed some bronzer, then just took my brush that naturally?! needless to say I always have to sanitize everything or even toss out stuff.
I remember this one girl coming to my place to “hang out” but ended up having me do a makeover on her using my stash, despite me being anal about how she cannot apply products directly in case of contamination etc. Then she suggested we swap some things since I never use them. I gave her a nearly new Laura Mercier primer, she gave me this bottle of Giorgio Armani foundation that she only used “a few times”. I haven’t used that foundation for more than 5 times before it ran out.
I guess I’m really not a fan of sharing makeup. When I don’t like certain things, I directly toss them unless they’re not powder stuff, I wouldn’t use used makeup even from friends so I wouldn’t want anyone to use my used products.

Roxi Avatar

For your information: using Q tips, disposable brushes and makeup sanitizer spray when sharing makeup is not high maintainance, it’s called good hygiene. There are things that can’t be sanitized completely though even with alcohol, gotta be more careful

Maggie Avatar

I totally agree with you. Having standards for good hygiene and sanitation is important. I had a friend who had a cold sore and we were getting ready for her rehearsal dinner. Her lipstick was missing, so I offered up what I had on hand. She tried everything with q tips to ensure she couldn’t pass it onto me. I was totally oblivious at first, but later, I appreciated her looking out for me. Ever since then, I always have an excess of q tips and spare brushes at hand especially when I am getting ready with others.

Roxi Avatar

That was very thoughtful of your friend. Yes, when I had that “friend” getting ready at my place I demanded that she shouldn’t apply lipstick directly from the tube; she didn’t like it, I guess that’s where I got lost! Why bother sharing things that could potentially spread bacteria when you can spend one more second being more careful about it.

WARPAINTandUnicorns Avatar

Haha her stash is massive and I’m sure her surplus/turnover would be insane as well. πŸ˜‰

I have to basically give it away to declutter in my blog sales. I’ve tried to give it way to local woman shelters but they won’t take it in my city and the cities around me.

Recently I gave a bag to a coworker, she asked me if they were brand new because I keep my first tested product well maintained and sanitised. lol

Most of my friends don’t wear that much makeup if they do so they are not interested.

I’m planning for this year Anime North to bring a box of makeup to the Nominochi and makeup panel to take for free. Most cosplayers undervalue makeup or just don’t have the budget for it.

Anne Avatar

I don’t currently have friends because health stuff is isolating, but I tend to shove stuff on my sister. I’m the only makeup junkie in my life so she’s the one who gets stuff (and she has friends and almost-step-kids to pass them off on).

KK Avatar

Not my “Friends” but a lot of people in my circle wonder why i don’t randomly distribute lipsticks or makeup out – since i have so much!! Couple of people have suggested that they should be able to take stuff from my stash to travel outstation for some upcoming family events. Someone has suggested that i should share my foundation since we have the same colouring and she hardly uses it too often and wouldn’t wanna spend so much! I know it may sound catty on my part – but these are people who aren’t really close to me, do not know my passion, do not know me so well… but life has thrown us in similar surroundings. And i am not comfortable with sharing my stuff except with family or my close friend circle. And when i respond with something like – “That ain’t happening any time soon!!’ People feel offended!

Aj Avatar

What?? Sorry, I’m just amazed people who aren’t even close to you have the audacity to ask things like that and be offended when you say no. It sounds like they think of you as their own personal Sephora because you have a larger makeup collection.
Good for you for saying no! I would too. Your stuff and your money that you spent.

KK Avatar

Appalling, no!

With people getting offended – I had started wondering if i should actually be sharing! But the reason i have more is coz this is my creative outlet. And yes, i may have a lot more stuff than others around me – but it is from my hard-earned money!

Rachael Avatar

Those are seriously weird things to say. I joke with my boss that if his wife doesn’t come pick up her makeup packages they might disappear, but I would never tell someone they should straight up give me anything.

Maggie Avatar

Eww.. that’s like sharing panties BC you have the same size. Hell no. Maybe just joke about it: “To me, sharing makeup is like sharing lingerie–just NOT done unless you’re super close.”

Brenda Avatar

I always have a box of things that didn’t work for me that I am trying to get someone else to take. They are all like “I already have A blush.”, “I am still using that one eye shadow you gave me.”, “Why would I have more than one lipstick?”.

Nicole D Avatar

My friends wear minimal makeup (mascara and/or eyeliner + lipstick). However, they are all obsessed with skin care ! When I returned to studies three years ago, I was amazed to see that the vast majority of my much younger colleagues (I’m in my thirties), were wearing minimal or no makeup. I’m wondering if this is due to the French culture/influence here in Montreal.

Michele @Binxcat4ever Avatar

My closest friends don’t wear makeup. My makeup buddies all live too far away; otherwise I’d be more than happy to give them items that didn’t work out for me (often, all I’ve done is swatch the product so there’s no “contamination”). I wish I knew people that lived closer bc it’s depressing just bagging stuff up without knowing you can give it to someone who will enjoy it!

Christina D. Avatar

Wow! You are a great friend, Christine! πŸ™‚ Actually, I’m guilty of doing the same thing and giving away gently used cosmetics that I don’t like/can’t return/can’t sell.

Mo Merrell Avatar

No, it’s mostly me going, “I got some makeup for you” lol. A few know that I have a “NO pile” of makeup that I keep for friends if they want it so they ask to see that when they come over and pick out anything that works for them.

I cannot stand those who come into my house and go, “You have so many lipsticks, let me have one. You don’t need that many.” They don’t grasp that I paid for these items. My family is that way, they think if you have more than one of something that they should be able to take one without a problem because you have more. UGH no. So I don’t let certain people in my house including family because they “take” stuff.

CeeBee Avatar

That’s shocking! I’m glad you don’t let them in, if that’s the way they think they can treat you.

I had someone (not a direct relative but close) over once and she went to the “bathroom” twice in a hour. Coincidentally, immediately after that I discovered my Dior Elegante quint and my Chanel Rose Drop lipstick (both pretty much new) had mysteriously vanished. This was 7 years ago and I’m still bitter about it. I allowed her back in the house ONCE and her behaviour was so terrible she has never been invited back. I am wondering if she’ll show up for Christmas breakfast I am hosting next week but my guess is no πŸ˜‰

I feel for you! Stay strong πŸ™‚

Mo Avatar

Right. I get so worried when a few come over. I love them and all but they just don’t get that all the stuff they see me have is because I bought it with hard earned money. I can only share my love of makeup with a select few who too owns a lot of makeup.

Mo Avatar

My family doesn’t care. While here in MN for my moms funeral 5 yrs ago my aunt stole my favorite scarf. She said i had too many didn’t need that one. I have tried to find a duplicate since then. It really hurts but I’ll never mention it, i told my dad and he tried to get it back for me but I told him to let it be. I’m still bitter about my dam scarf.

Shannon. N Avatar

Yes and No!!

With my personal makeup collection, I go through parts of it, and I’ll offer products that don’t work on my skin or I just don’t wear (Ie lip gloss!! I own very few of them. but people always buy it for me πŸ˜› ) to my two best friends!!
My one best friend, she’s my skin tone (NC25 normally, but NC23ish right now!!) so whenever she has a big thing happening I’ll let her borrow my concealer and powder, because she’s basically my sister (I’v known her since I was 5!!) My other friend, is one of the palest people iv ever met! (She calls herself a sheet of paper ahaha) So whenever anythings too light for me, and my light/medium skin, I pass it along to her!!

And these two best friends know they can ask to borrow anything of mine, except for eye liner, and mascara!!

For my KIT: I don’t let ANYONE touch that bad boy. Only shannon, and my teachers/instructors can touch that right now!!

Fran Avatar

No, but a client in her 90s once tried to appropriate a cute little eyeshadow palette I showed her! She stuck her fingers right in it and spread the color on her lids while my mouth hung open — I’m sure that’s what she must have done with her girlfriends decades ago!

Lea Avatar

Ditto with my mother. There have been a lot of ooohh what did you gets from her, especially when she lived with us. The weird part was that she never wore make up. Now or in her youth so it always felt like throwing money away. Oh well, she’s my mother.

Shira Avatar

I have a blog so I get a lot of makeup and yes, a lot of my friends ask. My TRUE friends I am happy to hand them makeup (and I also give before they ask). But random girls that suddenly find out and ask me… I find it so off putting. Girlllll I do not even know you!

ame Avatar

Yes, more often than I want to publicly admit. And usually if they see me listing it for sale. They want the item but they won’t pay for the item–usually with the reply “a good friend doesn’t ask for payment, they share the wealth.” No, a good friend isn’t a dick and pays for what they want. And I get a lot of “must be nice to buy all this makeup!” Well, I didn’t choose to have kids or go on vacations. You did. I have more disposable income because I don’t have those expenses. So, yes, it is nice. And if you want to spend your money on makeup, then you can, but don’t give me shit because you made choices with your life that don’t allow your budget to go that way. I need to reevaluate my relationships I think.

Roxi Avatar

Some people only see tangible things in life when they want to compare themselves with their friends. In my experience these type of people tend to be jealous when you’re in a good place and tend to leave the first when you’re not. How you spend your money is entirely your decision, and don’t let them trick you into thinking that you should be guilty and have a charity.

Alecto Avatar

Wow, sounds like you’re in a tough position. I’d have sharp, snarky comments for the people who spoke to me that way, but I’m a big fan of burning bridges, and am not in a position where I’m likely to be hurt by ostracization (but I’m perfectly aware that most people have to be more careful … and also, being more careful probably makes most people better human beings than I am).

I’ve also chosen to never have children, go expensive places, or have expensive things or hobbies (other than makeup!). The women who can have all those things and still have decent stashes of mid- to high-end makeup have my have my best wishes, and I think it’s great for them that they can do that.

I once knew someone who called the expectations of others (like you mentioned) a “friendship fee,” and she used it non-ironically, as if it’s a common and universal thing. I refuse to accept that. I’m fine with being helpful and generous to those you prefer to have in your life, but no one should have to “buy” anyone’s good graces, and as soon as someone requires that, they’re not worth the investment.

Bon Bon Avatar

Not friends but my sister is awful. She expects me to buy new product and give her mine when it’s only half empty. I should be as cheap as her and give it to her like half empty for her birthday…lol…I just can’t do that though.

Silvia Avatar

No I’m not sharing! Only with my daughter and Mom which I love to show my stuff to try but they don’t ask. I believe makeup is a private thing and highly higienic so I’m not into sharing. No way! Just read on another makeup page some friend asked this girl to check out three of her Too Face palettes, she moved (the barrier) and never bothered even to return her call! How disgusting is that! So sad! I do however, do receive freebies from my sis-in-law she is a designer so I get some fun stuff once in a while but I would never ask for it. I would much rather share a dress, coats, shoes, etc. but never my makeup. Or. at! That’s another no! No! Some friends/relatives have asked me for my minivan to go on a long trip my hubby lend it a few times until I said enough! I never hear from them when they buy a nice car any offering. Some people have no decency. Hell no!!

GK Avatar

My new mother in law asked me to give her niece & grandniece some makeup. She then helped herself to $600 worth of products from my collection! She thought I had too much & that I got everything for free-really?
I used to give goody bags filled with products & samples as gifts to friends-who criticized what was in them! They thought I didn’t spend enough time or money selecting things just for them.

Donna E. Avatar

No one asks me other than my daughter who lives nearby. She’s only asked me once. She doesn’t take anything. I’m pretty generous when it comes to her. I still have a small stash.

Natalia Avatar

Luckily no! And if I did, it’d be like “Are you kidding me? First, if I have it – I want it, otherwise it would not be here (I’d have already offered it to s/o myself), no matter how many powders of highlighters you see in my stash. Second – do I look like I’m loaded this money to you? My makeup is all mid to high end, do the math how much it cost me :)”

Also, most of my friends are of this “one blush, one shadow, one lipstick and “what’s a highlighter?”” kind, so I’m pretty safe here. More so, I feel like I have the right to tell them what makeup they need πŸ™‚

My sisters are those who benefit from me having that much the most, but I’ve built up pretty wholesome collections over time for them, so it’s usually me trying to give them smth new.

Roxi Avatar

This! I agree. I too have a collection consisting of mid to high end products, so it cost me a fortune throughout these years to collect…. maybe I’ll never use up things or even hit pan, but I want them sitting in there nicely instead of in someone else’s arms. Haha.

Karen Avatar

What a strange question. I don’t think I have ever known anyone who would ask me to give them any of my things. I have asked my sister and one or two close friends if they wanted a product before I returned it (if, for some reason, I think it would work for them when it didn’t work for me) but that doesn’t happen often enough to be a thing.
I am always amazed when I watch a declutter video to read comments from people who ask for the decluttered products. I don’t understand why anyone thinks that is appropriate behavior, just reading those comments makes me squirm…anyone else?

Roxi Avatar

Yes, even Christine had to post sth like don’t send me your address when she posted some organization pics on her instagram. I always seem to read under declutter videos that someone says they’re very poor and cannot afford makeup.. and offers to pay postage to have their clutter. I don’t know what to think in these situations: sometimes I feel bad for the commenters, but I’ve seen too many people trading dignity for freebies in life. Call me a cynic, but when you really are struggling with money, why would you devote energy on obsessing with the idea of having makeup or stalking others for theirs . If someone is not entirely without means, then a small stash of money doesn’t cost an arm and a leg: too many people are controlled by consumerism that they have to have 10 products at least in each category. But no, people do not need this, especially when they have better places to spend the money.
I must be such a douche saying this, but some hobbies belong to the leisure and luxury category.. E.g. I’m not going to want to have all the sports cars in the world, I might be familiar with them, but I’ll never ask someone to give me their hand me downs. Although for my own sake, I’m just not interested in things way above my spending power.
Well I don’t donate used makeup, but I do give away a lot of clothes for free online, and my experience has taught me that many people asking for free stuff can be very demanding. Some curse me and say racist things when I refuse them in a message, some wanted me to bring them to their location, some want to take everything and resell, etc. You never know!

Alecto Avatar

Very coherent, and I completely agree. The people who are truly needy in this world aren’t posting comments in declutter/destash videos. It’s presumptuous, and in my opinion, classless.

If you have very little money for makeup, there are great low-cost drugstore options (which is the route I was forced to take for the first 25 minimalist makeup-wearing years of my life), it’s just a matter of being selective and smart. If you say you have have *no* money for makeup, then what the h*ll are you doing browsing blogger makeup videos? I don’t hang out in the comments section of designer clothing haul videos (I assume there’s such a thing) because I’ll never be buying designer clothes (and I certainly don’t expect anyone to give them to me for free).

I’ve given unused makeup, skincare and scents to a local shelter for abused women and their children (the rescue-type organization that tries to give a new start women who are likely to be hunted down by their husbands and boyfriends) because most of those women fled their homes in danger of their lives with nothing except what they could carry. Places like that wouldn’t welcome used makeup, but my point is there’s need, and then there’s *need.*

We all have things in life we’ll never be able to afford, but thinking it’s okay to ask for what is a non-essential, or worse, being pushy or demanding about it, says something about one’s character. Something negative, but I didn’t need to qualify that, right?

Katie Avatar

The only time I’ve had someone ask for a product was my best friend, and she asked after I’d said I hated the way it looked on me. I’m in Australia, so returns are pretty much unavailable, and I was happy to give it to her. It made me feel like I hadn’t wasted my money!

My mum occasionally borrows eyeshadows, but she doesn’t take them out of my house – if she’s here and she sees something she’d like to use, she’ll ask about it and ask where she can purchase it for herself. I’m quite lucky with my small circle of friends.

The only other time I give/buy makeup for someone else is a particular friend where we have a swap and share system, and she’s never let me down in any of the ways I’ve seen in other comments thankfully.

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