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Have you had to justify your beauty purchases to someone before? (Family, friend, significant other, etc.)
Not really! When I was in college, my parents knew I was extremely financially responsible (and they could also see my bank accounts, since they are linked to theirs… still are, haha) and wasn’t spending outside of my means. Then, I started the blog, and so to my parents, spending money on makeup was investing in the blog, which they were always supportive of. My then-boyfriend/now-husband has similarly always been supportive for the same reasons–a lot of the excess is due to the blog. Everybody basically knows I run a tight ship when it comes to money, and I’m a saver overall, so when they see me spend money, they are confident that I’ve already assessed the situation and made a good decision.
— Christine
My wife gets on me about buying makeup and spending too much. She only wears under eye concealer so she has no idea of what “normal” prices are, so she gives me a hard time about it.
YES! I don’t have a mailbox in my building so I was having Sephora orders sent to my mum’s place. I eventually gave in and started shipping about 50% to my own place (will be left outside my door but my neighbours are pretty trustworthy) so she wouldn’t know how much I was actually ordering. Yes, I might have a problem!
Ehhh, not really. I think most people in my life are aware of that I am super not wreckless, especially when it comes to money. One time I was showing my younger cousin a picture of my palette collection and she started asking if I was in crazy debt, I just told her flat out that she was underestimating my abilities with money. Other than that most people are aware that it’s my thing.
Never. I’m fierce about my financial independence.
before i even get to purchase, i’m already questioned on why i’m going sephora again!!! ?
No….not really. But from comments I used to get from certain friends, I keep my beauty purchases to myself. The last time I took a frugal friend shopping with me at the makeup counters was literally about 10 years ago. I was looking for a particular red Chanel lipstick and my friend (in front of the sales associate) told me to “just go to Wal-Mart and get red lipstick and get it out of your system”. I was mortified and I was angry. So…ever since then, when I go makeup shopping, I go alone. Except for my husband. He doesn’t care lol. He did laugh at me once when we walked into Dillard’s and everyone at every beauty counter said hello to me and called my by my first name as I was just walking by the counter. He thought it was hilarious…and he made fun of me lol. But it’s no one’s business how much I spend on makeup or what I buy. And no one except my husband has ever seen my stash.
I wouldn’t call it “justifying” exactly, but when you are married, you and your spouse are going to be aware of each other’s purchases. My husband definitely thinks my makeup obsession is a little overboard (and he’s right) and he rolls his eyes when I get Sephora boxes 3 days in a row, but we do respect each other’s fiscal responsibility and hobbies.
He does like to joke when I get something new, though – “Oh, good- you got some more makeup! That’s good because you were almost out.” LOL
This made me chuckle! My husband is the same way!
Yes I have. That someone would be me. 🙂
Me too, Linda. It’s odd: My collection now is rather small, but I love it so much more than when it was humongous and overflowing. Only in hindsight have I come to realize this. Even though I have my favorites, I don’t have a clunker or a dud in my collection. Making very selective choices for the past few years not only has saved me a ton of money, but has also given me a lot of happy satisfaction when I look at my present collection. It has no holes and it screams ‘me’.
Kind of!! My father is very much a stereotypical 50 year old, hyper masculine dude. So he doesn’t understand that just because I know how to change a tire, doesn’t mean I can’t know how to do a Smokey eye.
And he thinks makeup and beauty is an extra, not a nessessitiy. (Which I do agree with! I don’t NEED makeup to feel beautiful!) BUT I have my bills paid on time, and I have a stable job with my provincial government so if I want to buy a new powder or blush then hey!
Ever since I was accepted into beauty college, my father’s realized that beauty and makeup is an art. And he’s realized I CAN make money off of it. And I can be happy with It!!
Nope! But I am not married and I would not date someone who tries to control what I do with my paycheck. My family thinks it’s important to take good care of your appearance, so they may not know what I spend but it’s still reasonable. With my makeup junkie friends, we all laugh about our obsessions and hoarding.
Never spent much on makeup until after I turned 35. For me, I spent more on skincare and didn’t do much makeup. However, as I got older, I started reading more blogs and got inspired to try new things, I’m afraid a monster was created in the process. It drove my husband nuts initially, but since I never go overboard, he does not give me any grief about it. My family definitely think I have too much, but are all too happy to get things off my hands! I do admit I’ve got way too much makeup and even with giving stuff away. It’s hard when so many interesting products hit the market and I want to get my hand on them. For now I’m trying to limit what I buy each month. I’m going to have a baby soon, so I’m also saving for when kiddo comes along and have been spending on maternity clothes so I’m sure things will change for a while with a baby, but we’ll see. I’ve always loved beauty but now would be a good time to just appreciate makeup and shop my massive stash…!
My husband and I recently bought a house, so we’re now merging bank accounts. Before this, he never really knew my spending habits in regard to beauty items. But now, I think seeing an itemized list of purchases from Sephora, Ulta, and Nordstrom might raise some eyebrows. He always encourages me to treat myself, so I doubt I will have to justify any future purchases. But I’d rather he not know how much some of these things cost, so I might rein in my spending anyway.
Two years ago I opened my home to my ex-husband who was having a difficult time going through a divorce from the wife after me, health issues and depression. I had invited him to stay here as I wanted to encourage a better relationship with our daughter. Well that didn’t happen and in the spring he is going to move back to his home in Georgia. He hasn’t live there since he moved to California in his sophomore year of high school. His health is much improved and he has all of his family back there, 10 living siblings. Almost from the beginning of his living here he started making comments about “how much makeup do you need”. “You’re buying more makeup”, etc. I have told him that it is my money and I will spend it as I see fit. He doesn’t make those comments anymore but then he switched to comments like, “How do you know what to wear” and “How do you know where to put stuff”. His comments now are a little passive/aggressive. I buy a lot of makeup and very frequently buy two of everything so that I can give them to my daughter. Her friends get on her case about all the makeup she has but they are happy to take anything she doesn’t want!! Recently a friend was really rudely getting on her about being a “privileged” person but that same friend has started buying makeup and so the tables are turned. My daughter is thankful for everything I buy for her and I buy mostly HE makeup so she has a lot of makeup that her friends cannot afford. I am sure some of it is jealousy.
Good job taking care of your daughter sis. Never compare yourself to other people. It’s fine to teach your children about quality.
What a kind thing to do for your ex-husband. And how generous of you to make sure your daughter is able to enjoy makeup as well.
My neice was out here recently and I gave her all of my unused stash. It was enough to necessitate another small travel bag and I was a little nervous about when she got home, getting a call from my sister about “spoiling” her or “well you have 1 other neice and 2 nephews, what about them?” and making my neice share it with her sister. I would have answered back in no uncertain terms so my sister would be very clear once again of my current generosity as well as in years prior, but thankfully I never received the call and my neice never told me of anything. I think that’s because she hid it all to where my sister can’t see it/find it, which is still sad – my neice has to be savvy and strategic with her own mother.
I have a friend that I’ve shown my stash to, and I regret it. If we are going out, she will ask to come to get ready at my house and I’ve realized it is because she wants to use my makeup (gross). I have been very generous with her as well (all of my NARS and UD blush and eye palettes!!!), so I resent being asked to share my prize pieces. I keep my collection pristine and meticulously ordered and displayed, and it is downright luxurious to look at, so I don’t blame her for wanting to touch and open and look at everything, but I don’t like anyone to look at it or touch it or know about it, now, for that very reason. Now that I am doing my own nails and nail art, she wants to come over so she can use all of that as well. She had the gall to accuse me of “withholding” the other day – which baffled and angered me. After all of my generosity, I guess she feels like I can and will share everything. She is my closest friend and I may be overreacting, but I’m hurt and I feel like this may be a game changer. I am very generous with loved ones and friends, but I am not mi-casa-es-su-casa. The difference is if it’s my idea to give and to share, I love doing it. If it’s assumed and expected, I don’t and I won’t. I resent the “well you have so much, what’s the big deal?”.
Pearl,
Yuck, your friend using your makeup! My daughter and I get grossed out when we are at Ulta or Sephora and people are using the testers as their makeup and keep putting their fingers in and then applying to their faces. So unsanitary. When I gift makeup to my daughter’s friends I make sure that it is either cleaned well or new and only lightly finger swatched. I don’t think I would be able to tolerate your friends helping herself or expecting to use your makeup. You are more compassionate than I would be. I am also kind of a neat freak and like my stuff put back exactly where it was. I am a little too anal but I have only myself to answer to. I have worked very hard for 40 years as an RN working 12 hour night shifts and so I feel like I don’t need to justify my purchases to anyone.
40 years, good Lord, and nursing to boot. Thank you for your service – that is not an easy job and I’m sure thankless most of the time. I’m only 20 years in my chosen profession and about 13-18 to go, I think.
It’s nice to be able to buy myself nice things, and I think that’s why I buy the things I buy and keep my collection pristine – it’s a reminder that I can do this for myself. That somebody would assume rights – my close friend, no less, knowing how I have worked so hard and how much it means to be able to buy for myself what I want – is just galling. It’s definitely given me pause. I am still in shock.
Pearl wrote: “She had the gall to accuse me of “withholding” the other day .”
Wow. That is pretty nervy, for someone who’s supposed to be a good friend.
Where did she get the idea that you “owe” her unlimited access to and use of everything you own?
I think you’d be well within your rights to put things out of sight, or even under lock and key if necessary.
If she asks why you’re being “stingy,” you could truthfully say, “People were taking advantage of my generosity to the point that I was getting nervous about possibly running out of certain items that I might not be able to replace.”
Beautiful picture, Carla. I know that when I was younger and up until I was in my late 20’s my extended family, aunts, uncles, etc. would tease me about not “missing a meal”. I think it became a self propelling prophecy as I started gaining weight in my 30’s and have continued to carry way too much weight. Recently my brother and I came across some pictures that we hadn’t seen in a while and I asked my brother if the girl in the picture was “fat” and he said “no she actually looks skinny, who is she?” I told him it was me and he did a double take and then realized it was. The things we do and say to young women that we don’t mean but have life long impact is amazing. My daughter is a strong and confident young woman so I know she will be fine and she knows I am there for her no matter what.
Deborah S. wrote: “The things we do and say to young women that we don’t mean but have life long impact is amazing. My daughter is a strong and confident young woman so I know she will be fine and she knows I am there for her no matter what.”
I’m so glad your daughter has a supportive mother who helps her build healthy self-esteem.
My mother was nagged by her own mother about her weight/looks, so she didn’t really know how to deal with my self-esteem issues; the best she could do was to tell me that “there’s nothing wrong with the way you look.”
My father, who had essentially zero parenting skills, ragged me unmercifully. Every time I’d go into the kitchen, he’d yell, “KEEP EATING!” even if I were getting a glass of water.
And my “friends” would make nasty remarks about me being “pleasantly plump,” etc. and tell me I’d “be so much happier if you’d lose some weight.” So I became convinced that I looked like this:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/jkfa0685y9s4lss/Perception.jpg?dl=0
As you said, Deborah, it became a self-fulfilling prophecy. During my 20s I was a size 12-14, which I realize now isn’t bad, but I got up to 268 pounds and a size 3X in my early 50s.
Today I’m back down to 12-14, but I’m still not really a confident person.
Again, I’m glad your daughter has you!
Deborah S. wrote: “Recently a friend was really rudely getting on her about being a “privileged” person.”
You’re right; that’s definitely jealousy.
I’m so glad your daughter has you to validate her. I hope [and expect] that a mother’s support will have more impact than the pettiness and criticism of peers.
I had similar experiences back in the ’80s, when I was in high school.
Some of my “friends” had me genuinely convinced that I was “fat” and “awkward.”
That was my perception; this was reality:
https://www.dropbox.com/s/35k6k9hgvj8c69h/Carla82.jpg?dl=0
I shudder to think what it would have been like if I’d had the makeup “arsenal” and skills I have today.
But if I had had the insight I have now, I’d have probably told them to flake off and not let it undermine me.
Ah, well; live and learn.
I’m still shocked . . .knowing her the way I do, I think she may be going through something and she’s not telling any of us. She has a tendency to get kind of grabby and expect everything to be communal/community property when she has a deficit. I think we need a sit-down with her.
That is a gorgeous picture!
No not at all the makeup obsession has been recent but I’m single and handle all of my finances.
No one but God, and I thank Him He intervenes with non-working web applications when I don’t need something. Ha!
Yes….back in the day….to myself. Now with social media, there is more feedback available before purchases so I make better decisions on what will or won’t work for me.
Yes, my boyfriend, not because I spend too much, but the fact I don’t wear makeup enough. When I get a new eyeshadow palette he says “why you got another one? You havent finished the other one.” But he doesn’t say anything when it’s skincare since I use that everyday lol
No, but the only person who has any idea of my stash is my SO, and he doesn’t actually look it over to see what’s there. I know without asking that he thinks I’m a little overboard on makeup, but he never says anything, except to comment on a particularly strong look — “Whoa … LIPS!!” — which always takes him by surprise since he’s a “natural-faced” makeup kind of guy (he appreciates that makeup can be used to enhance and doesn’t have some ridiculous bs attitude about how women *have to* look good but they *have to* do it without artistry of any kind or they’re superficial airheads; having said that, he really doesn’t get the black eyes and skin-colored lips, or bare canvas and dark blue lips).
I’d probably be called upon to justify my makeup collection if other people knew, but whether I’d actually try to justify, or I’d say “bite me,” is the question. Not having lived the moment yet, I’m not certain, but knowing me, there’d be genuine amusement and rude suggestions in there somewhere.
I doubt anyone I know would question it from a financial standpoint, more from a “why would anyone find that necessary” standpoint. But either way, I don’t see myself satisfying anyone’s curiosity.
I’ve had friends (typically those with young children; I’m single and childless) make rather snide remarks about the amount of makeup that I buy, but I rather suspect that it’s out of jealousy. For some of them, a single non-drugstore lipstick is a major “splurge.”
So I try to confine my jabbering about makeup to places like this, where I’m among fellow “junkies.”
I am a mother of young children and I wouldn’t want my friends to know how much I am spending on make up. They are happy if they manage to brush their teeth in the morning let alone put on a face of make up!
Anna wrote, “I am a mother of young children and I wouldn’t want my friends to know how much I am spending on make up.”
Not that you asked me, Anna, but unless you’re spending money earmarked for food, medicine, or housing on makeup, I think you’re giving your children a gift by taking care of yourself.
You’re setting a good example for them, and if you feel good, you’re a better mother; they don’t need a “martyr.”
Yeah but not makeup. My husband threw a fit once that I bought $9 shampoo and conditioner. I almost slapped him in the isle.
LOL. Once… Lesson earned, I reckon 😉 (and no, that’s not a typo. I maintain there are lessons learned and then there are lessons earned – I’ll let you guys guess which ones are more effective)
My husband once asked if I really need three different types of shampoo and conditioner in the shower at any one time. I said, well, no I didn’t NEED them but… *cue long and painfully detailed explanation of current hair status, issues, demonstration of snarls that have to be physically removed from my comb, cost benefit analysis of more regular salon visits and reminded him of the times I’ve cleaned his drool, blood, snot and puke out of my hair, etc* and now all he says is “Your hair looks lovely/smells nice/really suits you like that.”
The best/worst time was when we were all fancied up to go out to a wedding, just doing some last minute bathroom stuff and I was putting my contacts in, dropped one in the sink and leaned over to find it and then my husband turned and spat out his toothpaste foam all over the back of my head.
I have never let him forget that one.
Presently, no one! However, during my time under the same roof as my now ex-husband, I didn’t have much freedom at all. Every single thing had to be asked for and justified. Unless it was a gift from my Mom. She knew the situation I was in. So did my BFF who would give me her GWP’s from Lancôme and Chanel.
Freedom is a wonderful thing. I don’t take mine for granted, either, so I do spend far more responsibly than it may seem.
NOPE.
We have a freehold house, investments for retirement that we are still savings towards, the bills are paid on time and in full and the cats get ridiculously expensive food. So I spend whatever I want, whenever I want.
I mean, I don’t go crazy very often and I still love good value products – I’m super generous with my friends and loved ones with things I don’t need/use when I clear out my stash (if they offer to pay for stuff, I laugh and say they can pay me in wine if they really want to) and my husband and I have always retained separate personal bank accounts so I really don’t have any one to answer to.
Sometimes yes and sometimes no. Sometimes I’ve had to justify makeup purchases to myself. When I get a very good deal though or buy something that works fantastic, it seems worth it in the end. Don’t ask me about how much nail polish I buy, but then again I think of it as color therapy I can wear. 😉 However, I will never have enough fingers or toes to wear all that I have, so that’s a bummer.
I’m definitely the same way! We always joke that I’m the CFO for my husband and I! I’m a saver, and I make to be responsible with spending money on beauty products. I try not to go overboard!