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How do you handle criticism or negativity about your makeup routine or stash?
How do you handle criticism or negativity about your makeup routine or stash? Share!
Generally, I would just let it roll off and move on, because the majority of people I interact with are close friends or family, so it would only be a casual acquaintance that might say something, but I find it pretty rare. But here are a few things I might say: “It’s not your money” or “This is my hobby and creative outlet” or “It’s not your face” (if it’s about my makeup choices).
Thanks to reader Jessica for today’s question idea Do you have a question idea? Submit yours here.
The keyword here is “your” makeup stash. It’s no one else’s to worry about but yourself. If your bills are paid and children (if any) are taken care of, you have a roof over your head and a job to support yourself – who’s to say what decisions you make? You and only you!
If it’s somebody I don’t know very well, I would just say it’s none of your business and brush it off, but that has never happened to me. My close friends and family are a different story, because there is no one I know that loves makeup like I do..so they just don’t get it. I just point out that it’s the same as whatever it is that they love and spend money on, such as video games, crafts, sports, etc.
I think a lot of my friends don’t realize how far my makeup hobby went, how many products I have and how much time I spend on it. I’m the only one who is criticizing myself as I literally do not need that much:)
I occasionally get “what does your husband think/is he ok with it?” and I just give them a deadpan expression and say nothing, until they get uncomfortable and walk away/change the subject. His hobbies are far more expensive than mine but no one questions him like that.
Whenever I get the question “What does your husband think?” I just respond “He thinks I can make my own decisions regarding ______.”
My doctor asked this just last week after I asked to try a different a course of treatment. My husband wasn’t even there, and it would in no way impact his lifestyle. To the doctor’s credit, he laughed and apologized.
I have a minor nail polish addiction (only about 250+ bottles…lol). My mom gives me crap about it, and I tell her that at least I’m not addicted to drugs.
Nice answer 🙂 I’ll try it with my mother!
I like that too haha
Perfect!
Only my husband (and the UPS guy) really know how much makeup and skincare I buy–he sees all of the delivery boxes coming. But he’s ok with it. I have my own job, so I use my own money, it keeps me happy, and as long as I can afford it, why not? Some people buy wine, others collect dolls, I buy makeup. As for the naysayers, I tell them you only live once, and you might as well look good while doing it!!
I don’t think I’ve ever gotten any negative comments over my makeup routine or stash. I once had a lady compliment a butterfly tattoo I had, only to then say how much she hated my other ones and tattoos in general, etc. I don’t think she meant to be mean or rude, but just didn’t think about it being an insult.
So I said, “Well, I like tattoos, but they’re not for everyone. Your bracelets are very pretty.”
She was wearing huge turquoise and silver beaded bracelets from wrists to at least halfway up her arms, on both arms. I didn’t say they were tacky or too much, or that I wouldn’t wear a million bracelets at once, but I made sure she knew I noticed she was a bit outside the norm herself. She seemed embarrassed and was very nice after that.
The only person who actually gives me any shit about the money I spend on makeup is my best friend, who rarely wears makeup (as did I until about ten months ago). As we are both foul-mouthed harpies as a byproduct of working as trauma nurses, I usually tell her to Shut the F*ck up, Don’t be hateful, or Get to steppin’. 🙂
Someone recently commented on my blog saying that I had an “obscene” amount of makeup, and that definitely rubbed me the wrong way. I mean, what do you expect on a beauty blog…? Also, the majority of my stash has come as some form of a gift since my family/friends/bf know that I love beauty products and it’s my hobby. That being said, even if I did purchase it all myself, I’m in a perfectly solid financial situation to do so, so I don’t see reason for anyone to comment on it.
On a more comedic note, my boyfriend is very colorblind so he will sometimes question my choice of wearing “grey” (deep red) lipstick. I’ll just kindly remind him that it’s actually red and assure him that it looks fab!
That is so cute! 😀
Ignoring negativity always works for me. Heehee.
My frequent response is that makeup is my hobby. I feel that people are inclined to view it as vanity or frivolity, and look down upon it as an unnecessary or extravagant expense. It’s often not considered a genuine hobby. I don’t get upset anymore, though I used to. I do it because it makes me happy!
Once in a while, hubby used to comment and I eventually realized that he didn’t “get” that this wasn’t like buying way too many fresh vegetables – there was no need to “use something up” before buying more. And when I explained to him that this was something I enjoyed, the way he enjoys golf, and he doesn’t just golf once a season, he started to understand. I also pointed out that it was a way cheaper shopping love than something like designer purses or expensive clothing – I was buying stuff that was generally well under $100, unlike our one sister in law who obsessively shops for clothes, spending hundreds a week. So he’s come to see that it’s a fairly low ticket “treat”
I just try to ignore it. Which is easier said than done because I am the kind of person who really takes criticism way too personally, lol.
i silently put my middle finger up and say it’s my thing! Everyone has a hobby or a collection of something. Makeup is simply my thing
I work hard for my money 🙂
About my stash I just ignore it my thing that I collect everyone has something their interested in mine is makeup. About my make and the ways it’s done I try not to let it get to me because at the end of the night it washes off. Applying makeup flawlessly is a learning process.
I totally agree. Having kind of a baby face, I wear light makeups everyday. I’m in grad school and I don’t want to be seen as a kid. Nor do I want that “immature” perception in a work space, either. I have heard it from one close friend once, about me putting on makeups everyday and she thinks that makes me a very “fakey” person and “wanting attention”. I didn’t change my thing even a bit. Looking back, it was my daily makeup routine that “forced” me to use some spf on a daily base and since I have grown out of the acne age, my skin has never been better than it is now.
Also I don’t care even a bit about people criticizing me for spending too much money on makeups. Everybody has hobbies and their soft spots of spending large amount of money, why can’t makeups be my thing, right?!
I get this constantly from my mom and dad. They’ve gone so far as to call it a vice! Haha I usually smile and don’t say anything. They haven’t funded my makeup stash in a while, so they have no opinion in what goes into it! haha 🙂
There are a couple things I say if i’m feeling sassy – “It’s none of your business.” or “I do what I want with my hard earned money.” If I’m feeling sweet, I’ll say “This is my hobby and I often do makeup for my friends.” I dont want to be mean to people but I also want them to understand that it isnt a subject im willing to discuss.
I’ll just say something like “It’s not your face” like you said.
Someone recently told me that you’re not supposed to put any eyeshadow under your eyes and that they didn’t like the look and I said “Well, it’s a good thing it’s on my face and not yours then, right?”
Uuuuggghh!! I hate it when that happens. That’s happened to me when I wear blue, black, or gray lipstick. I get people saying, “Um, you look like a goth” or “Ugh I hate that color,” I’ll usually say something like what you posted, but more often I say something like, “It’s just a color, don’t get so worked up about it.”
Agreed!
It’s usually from family and friends so I don’t pay much attention to it. I’ve always been the kind of person to do what I want anyway. As for others, they’ll likely get ignored depending on the tone. I don’t really like to explain myself to strangers lol. Especially not about how I spend my money, time, etc.
They are just jealous.
I usually make it clear it’s my money and I can do what I want with it and that makeup makes me happy. I’ve never received criticism that really got to me though.
I’ve gotten some comments when I have people over and they see my vanity. But I’m 24 and a lot of my friends are in different stages of their career than me so they think it’s a big waste of money. I usually just say that it’s something I enjoy and if they press I go into a spiel about how things that are considered feminine are considered frivolous and wasteful and how women are encouraged to wear makeup yet also criticized for doing what is considered ‘too much’. Usually that launches into an examination of feminism or they don’t want to discuss further at all.
I don’t give a damn quite frankly. I take care of myself and all my expenses. Ain’t nobody paying for my makeup, so those opinions are gone with the wind. If there isn’t any wind I’ll make it myself lol
How do I handle it? I had this occur to me this morning…
Relative: “You’ve got too many lipsticks! You don’t need so many lipsticks, especially since you don’t go anywhere!”
Me: “Oh, how thy speak such words of hypocrisy when thy 50 pairs of shoes sit in the cave of oblivion!”
It’s always family members that complain. I typically reply with sarcasm or point out the über amount of hypocrisy that oh so proudly slithers from their mouths. Seriously. It’s not really their concern but I appreciate their worry. It shows that they actually know of my existence. Even so, it won’t stop my lipstick hunting that I will presume on New Year’s Day. My money, my worries, my problem. lol!
I really like this question because it totally hits home with me. I definitely have a larger makeup collection than most of my friends, family, and acquaintances. People who know me well aren’t critical at all, but I have gotten wide-eyed comments from others before like, “that is the most lipstick I have ever seen in my entire life”. I tend to ignore hyperbolic statements like that, and yes, it is a lot of lipstick/makeup, but it is my hobby/my money, so I don’t let it get to me. I did date a guy once who said my lipstick was “too red” and he “hated” makeup, which was ridiculous/none of his business, and I shot back at him that I like wearing red lipstick and would wear it every day if I could. The relationship didn’t work out- not because of that comment, but the theme that he couldn’t accept me/didn’t like me for who I was. At the end of the day, my routine and collection are my business and no one else’s. I beautify me for me!
I get this constantly from my mom and boyfriend.
For other people, I always say: “Some people are addicted to drugs, I´m addicted to makeup, Yay me!”
People who are in beauty think my stash is paltry and people who aren’t think I’m vain. I honestly don’t have that much, especially for a blogger who reviews skincare and cosmetics regularly. Not to mention reading 10 – 20 beauty blogs weekly.
I’ve showed many a collection video to my fiance who always thought I had a lot of makeup. He doesn’t worry about it anymore. 🙂
Ditto. I have a friend who also loves makeup but once she saw my stash–she was like, “That’s ALL?” She’s right–I’m quite frugal for a makeup lover and can’t stand the idea of not loving or using everything I have. Most of my other friends are simply amused–so any criticism is generally from acquaintances, relatives (my mom too) or not-so-close friends.
How I handle criticism or negativity? Well, I work in customer service, so I try to pretend it’s not an insult. It takes effort to not be confrontational for me but I’ve never regretted the effort–especially since I live in a small town where everyone knows each other.
Usually people will comment about 1) how I don’t need it, 2) why buy so much when there’s an expiration date, 3) it’s excessive, expensive, unnecessary,etc. 4) how wasteful it is (lots of environmental awareness where I live despite it being a tiny conservative town), 5) why would you put that on your face?
I usually just pretend it’s not an insult–and acknowledge any truth in the statement. Like for 1) “You’re right, but we all have things we don’t need.” For 2) and 3) “it’s a lot, but I love it all–it’s like having a watercolor set and an oils paint set–but my face is the canvas.” 4) “Consumerism is quite wasteful–sometimes I feel guilty whenever our economy is doing well” and 5) “bc it’s fun–you should try it some time.”
I tell them that when they start paying my bills, they can have an opinion on my finances. 😛
My niece, who is 9, told me once that “Grandma (my mom) says you have a lot of makeup.” I said “Yep, I do.” I know I have a lot, but I don’t buy what I can’t afford, so who cares?
Plus,
What I was going to say before I cut myself off was EVERYONE loves playing in my extensive fingernail polish collection, so I don’t think they can talk too much anyway. 🙂
Depending on who says it or the mood I’m in, it can go a few different directions.
More often than not, a sarcastic direction.
Maybe joke, “I didn’t wake up like this, you know!”, or sarcastically say that “we all aren’t so fortunate to be born beautiful” (suggesting they, the asker, was born flawless! obviously joking!), usually makes people giggle and forget about it. I’m not going to talk at lengths about it with them.
I might even gasp and say “I know, I totally have a problem HA!”
With my boyfriend I’ve explained that, even though I own a lipstick thats JUST like the new one I just got, that makeup has different finishes and textures, just because something is a similar color doesn’t make it a dupe, it’s just like body chemistry and how we react individually to food and medicine, people have individual preferences for makeup.
Its fun to always challenge makeup application skills and also challenge products themselves. Looking for the best performers to suit our needs. The “needs” that arise because of personal aesthetic preference.
The only comment I get is from my twin sister about the size of my eyeshadow palette stash – and then I remind her about her jewellery stash…. I have always loved makeup from when I was young, like 12 and this is nothing new to my family. My husband loves me wearing makeup too. No problems there at all. And anyway, everyone needs a hobby….
I have never been critized to my face. However, I criticize myself sometimes because I buy a lot of products because they are pretty – not because I will wear them. I’m trying so hard to stop doing this so much!
i laugh about it..i just love makeup and i usually let friends and family go through samples and sanitized products i don’t want anymore. also i DO use my makeup.. just takes some time to rotate through palettes and other items i have a ton of 😉
No one criticizes my routine because it’s fast and natural.
Sometimes they criticize “looks” I experiment with when I deviate from my routine. I know it will all come off with a little make-up remover so I don’t care. Besides it rarely happens.
No, for me – the issue is the stash. First, only family sees my stash, and they are the harshest critics. Only my son comments as he realizes 6 highlighters will crystallize before I ever exhaust them. He looks me in the eye as he points out my latest indulgences, and guilt sets in. His brain processes so quickly that he can tell exactly which item(s) have been added since he last viewed my stash. Pure guilt – from the flush in my cheeks to the sinking feeling in my stomach. And my stash is not bad compared to others I see online. The others appear to just accept it like I’m spending the money at the gym, but I can tell from the radio silence that they typically disapprove.
I have had to learn to ignore anyone who has a negative opinion about my makeup “addiction”. I don’t get too worked up about it anymore, but it used to actually upset me. As a lesbian, I had a lot of friends that were really political, really obsessed with women being independent and not conforming to “the norm”. That was all fine and good, until they decided that makeup with some form of oppression, and that by wearing makeup I was giving in to societal pressure. I had to realize that I have always loved makeup, not because someone expects me to look a certain way, but because it is my way to express my creativity and revel in my femininity. I absolutely love playing with colors and products, just stepping into Sephora or Ulta gives me a bit of a buzz. Now that I am getting older, I don’t get too worked up about what other people say. I think once I hit 40 I really began to see that what counts is how I feel and what I want, not what anyone else has to say about it. They have their own life to live, and as long as I am a good person and live a good life and make the world a better place by being a part of it, who cares what color eyeliner I wear while I do it or how many hundreds of products I have stashed away at home? 🙂
I loved makeup ever since I watched my beautiful mom put on Fire & Ice from Revlon. It’s my hobby, I went to school to be a makeup artist, unfortunately don’t live in an area to take advantage of it. It’s my hobby, pretty much a passion and the older I get, I don’t don’t care what other people think. My hubby just smiles and I know appreciates that I take the time every day to take care of myself. I just love it and am glad I now can share my passion with other makeup junkies ;0)-.
My friends would sometimes question/lightly make fun of my stash…. until they needed makeup advice. And they clearly don’t mind when I give them the best reviewed makeup gifts or am able to just pull a product out of my backup drawer for them if they mention they need something. I slowly won that argument over the years ^_^
Even with my mom, who thinks having this much makeup is odd and often questions if things are expiring – I keep good track of things and am good about cleaning/disinfecting stuff, so she’s easy to reason with as well.
Mostly people are impressed by my stash or just don’t care.
I don’t remember anyone criticizing the makeup on my face in a while. Except for my love of wearing Mac Rebel even though I have “imperfect” teeth. That was just a stranger at Target though, so I felt fab anyway
I usually respond with something along the lines of “I don’t recall asking for your opinion, kindly keep it to yourself” or something that lets them know they’re being nosy and butting in with their comments where they don’t belong.
When people ask what my partner thinks of my makeup style (or anything about my appearance, for that matter), I’ll nonchalantly remind them that he doesn’t own me and that only my opinion really matters. If people enjoy telling me that they dislike my makeup, I kindly tell them that it’s a good thing it’s not on their face.
I just say “It makes me happy.” and leave it at that, because I don’t need an excuse beyond that. Everyone has things that make them happy, and if you have the means to pursue it, you absolutely should. If it’s more of a criticism on makeup in general, I’ll say something along the lines of how it’s ridiculous that women get questioned on makeup when a lot of men are openly obsessed with sports and spend similar (if not more) on going to games, merch, etc etc. Everyone sees that as normal, they even expect it. Tends to shut people up. 🙂
I’ve never had outright hostility about it, but I get “…You have a LOT of makeup” regularly (with varying degrees of disapproval). I just (very pleasantly) say “Yep! Do you have something YOU’RE passionate about?” Which can then lead to a fun discussion.
The last time I heard this was just a couple of weeks ago when some of the women I was hanging out with needed emergency makeup for their kids’ Halloween costumes. I pulled out my purse kit–foundation, primer, concealer, highlighter, two cream shadows, mascara, pot and pencil liner, two cream/gel blushes, and about a dozen lip colors–and they were a little weirded out, since none of them wear anything but mascara. I just laughed and pointed out it was a good thing for them I carry so much with me! We did, in fact, manage to save the day, and they’ve asked me to do a makeup tutorial next week.
Experimenting and playing with makeup, be it high-end or drug store purchases, just makes me happy. End of story. Enjoy ladies!