I’m very fortunate that close friends and family have always understood that it was important to me! I’d say that only some really understand why I love it, but they all accept and support me with respect to having it as a hobby/job.
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All of my friends except for one are dudes, so definitely not. My female friend only wears eyeliner, so she doesn’t either.
I only have one friend that I can say things like” I used the 3502 today” or ” I use my subculture pallet today” and she will know what I am talking about.
I have a friend or two and my daughter who are also interested in beauty/skin care but, for the most part, I tend to keep my beauty interests to myself in the same way that I keep my personal grooming habits in general or what I eat in a day (I have a friend who details everything she’s eaten in a day sometimes and it is really very boring) to myself.
[sigh] This question is a can of worms. TLDR: No, not really. For the novella, continue reading…
No, not really, but that’s partially because makeup — for me — isn’t necessarily about beauty. I joke that my makeup is “warpaint”; the reality is … it isn’t a joke. I sometimes wear makeup to look “classically” attractive, but I usually wear it in a way that’s a bit challenging for the viewer, and occasionally not flattering to me. If I were born in another place with other influences (and different musical tastes) I’d likely be old-school punk, with every bit of the “I dare you to accept me as I am” over-the-top clothes and makeup, but I didn’t have those influences, so I ended up as a moderate nonconformist instead.
When someone (rarely) asks me about my “look,” my canned response is “I’m not decorative.” I don’t know where I got it, but my attitude has always been that I shouldn’t have to feel pretty, and no one should care if I am. I’m not talking about giving up on my appearance; I care about my appearance, I just don’t care if I’m attractive, i.e. “feminine.” I make an effort and pull it all together, but the end result isn’t going to put anyone in mind of kittens, flower-filled meadows, or laughing children.
Don’t get me wrong, I like pretty things, but I also like scary, strictly neutral and utilitarian, and sometimes ugly or dangerous things. I’m occasionally in the mood to be pretty and … I go with it. Other days I feel that if thoughts could shape reality I’d have knives for hands and … I go with it. Granted, I work an 8-5 job in an office, so I do moderate myself. I also keep a mini makeup kit at work that lets me “fix” a look (make myself more neutral) if I suddenly need to leave the building to go to a meeting, but that rarely happens.
The only time you’d see me in full-on assault mode is going out to see a band or movie, or hanging out in a bar with friends who know me really, really well. Other than movies, that stuff doesn’t happen much anymore because I’m getting more homebody as I get older, so a lot of what I wrote above is a bit moot.
I’m a middle-of-the-road, slightly irritable eccentric who gets pissed off every time someone in the comment section disses a makeup item because “nobody would look good in it,” as if attractiveness has to **always** be the goal. I also despise sexualized makeup (pouty and glossy — i.e. puffy and wet — lips) and “helpless” makeup (biiiiiiiig eyes and soft features like an infant or baby animal), but that’s a rant for another time. Anyway, the few friends I have who get me, get my makeup choices, even if they don’t always approve.
This may be my favorite comment I’ve ever read on Temptalia.
I remember shaving my head and people telling me nervously, “You’re so lucky that you look good bald!” I did not shave my head to look “prettier” — although the two goals aren’t incompatible, obviously.
I do generally steer my own appearance toward a fairly feminine/ classically beautiful goal, but that’s been a whole journey of self-discovery. Do I want THIS or THAT choice because I truly want it, or because it is the default?
Of course, this conversation (for me) bleeds into a larger discussion of gender identity and expression + sexuality. I’m bisexual — but between looking traditionally feminine and having had more serious relationships with men than women, I “pass” for straight. Which I hate. Now that I’m engaged (to a man I’ve known for 16+ years), I find myself that much more prickly about the incorrect assumption that I’m straight.
But at some point I decided I did in fact like lipstick, blush, doe eyes, etc, and rebelling against those things in perpetuity is just as much letting myself be governed by others’ expectations as embracing them to meet said expectations would be.
On the other hand, I buy a lot of my clothes in the men’s department. I’ll just be inclined to wear a nice red lipstick also. 🙂
*shrug* So yeah. Down with feeling like you have to or should be pursuing “pretty” by default.
Ummmmmmmm, to answer the question… casual acquaintances or less close friends are frequently shocked to learn just how much makeup I own. People close to me know and support.
Oh man, I feel this so hard.
I’m nowhere near alternative looks, I stick purely to “conventional” makeup but my attitude is pretty much the same. I am not here to be decorative, I am not here to be innocent (Ariana Grande, blink blink, coquette blaaaaah!), I am not here to be sexy, I am not here to look attractive for other peoples gazes. I’m stroppy and a bit fat and I take no bull$#!% and I say no a lot and sometimes I don’t care about other peoples feelings the way society seems to expect I should and I demand things at work instead of asking nicely (and I get them) and sometimes I say really inappropriate things and I have perfected my “withering stare” and probably a lot of the time, I come across as a real b!#*&… but I get stuff done like nobodies business and I don’t care what other people think.
The ONE time, I went to work having skipped eyeliner and forgotten to put on blush (IDEK), as soon as I walked in the door, my (male) boss was “You look TERRIBLE, you should go home!” and it took a couple of seconds of stunned disbelief and then I about faced and walked out and went home, even though I felt perfectly fine. I didn’t put in for sick leave either, so I got a paid day out of it (which didn’t quite make up for the 10 days equivalent time off I was owed, LOL) and he was an otherwise lovely man, but geez, what an @ssho!e thing to say.
I have maybe 2 friends who understand my love of all things makeup and I get them stuff they want fairly frequently, my mum and my husband just quietly accept it and anyone else is welcome to keep their opinions to themselves 😉
Incredibly rude thing to say to a coworker!!!
I think it is so pathetic that the same people who say, “You don’t need to wear all that stuff on your face” to me are the same people who say “You don’t look well” when they see me without makeup.
I love everything you wrote here.
Love the comment!
Yes. All this. So much I’ve thought without recognizing it. Thank you
(And “middle of the road, slightly irritable eccentric” — this too.)
Yes, indeed. makeup is theatre to me, and as Antonin Artaud said so well, ‘Theatre is like the bubonic plague.’ My old time friends (50+ years) don’t wear any, and there’s seldom any at my day job. Tend not to wear it then, unless I feel like it. ‘Hot date?’ What are you doing after work?’ FTS. My few close friends that do use m/u need major updates and technique improvement. Re: them, don’t ask, don’t tell. I far prefer bold, dark, or not traditionally pretty looks. All gray…everything…suits me fine. Or all navy. I think if you have a strong/outspoken personality, or are old like me, doe eyed Bambi would be a bit ridiculous. Night job is a different story: palettes for all at birthday and Christmas! They get the love, the concept for themselves and we discuss new releases, etc. But no one I know can actually compare shades, ingredients, etc. so, the online community’s knowledge base is very refreshing to me. Sometimes I feel as if I have MUOCD, and places like T make me realize that plenty of us do!
I wanted to follow up to say that I read an article by an Australian woman (Leah GIlbert) who wrote about redefining Lady-like to keep young girls active in sports, and I wanted to share a portion here (had to reread the comments policy to make sure, but I think I’m okay to do this):
“A couple of months ago, I was on the treadmill at the gym with a school group … in front of me. … high-school age, a mix of boys and girls on various cardio equipment … there was a clear distinction between what the girls were up to and what the boys were up to. While the boys were jogging, running and beginning to exert effort with abandon, the girls were ALL walking slowly, pulling at their shirts, fixing their hair … whilst looking around to see who was watching them. It took every bit of my will not to go up to the girls and yell “screw what your hair looks like or what you’re shirt is doing – run! Train hard! Sweat! Enjoy being strong!”
In my mind there’s some connection between this and my post, though it’s not perfectly straightforward. The idea of beauty or attractiveness being *the* most important characteristic of females is certainly part of it. Anyway, I don’t want to turn Temptalia into a soapbox, so I’ll just leave this here.
I think they are aware of it and know it’s my “thing” but I don’t talk about it. I’ll get asked for advice from time to time, but that’s in passing and I don’t talk about it beyond giving a suggestion. I have one friend that likes makeup but doesn’t prioritize it the way I do. I have another friend that is very interested in mostly just the skin care or anti-aging side of things. My skin care or anti-aging friend has us all on this calendar of when we should get this serum/cream/procedure and where and from whom and all that. We laugh about it but I’m thinking more and more she is serious because she brings it up whenver we all get together. I glance at the others and I can see them nodding politely but their eyes are starting to glaze over; I imagine it would be that way if I went on a diatribe about makeup. My teen and twenty-something nieces love makeup and enjoy my cast-offs but it’s never really talked about.
More friends are share my interest in skin, body, hair care categories than makeup. That’s fine with me; not a worry because none are negative toward my being into makeup too.
The only person in my life who understands my love and attention to beauty is my daughter. No one else in my family wears makeup and none of my friends wear makeup. It is something that has driven other people crazy and in particular my ex-husband who feels like he is always waiting for our daughter and I to get ready to go anywhere. We share and ask about the products we are using and what we brought with us to determine our looks for the day. We ask, “What lipstick should I pair with this?” “What kind of a look should I do today?” Drives him crazy and that would make me crazy in the past but since we are divorced now and when the three of us travel together I just tell him to take a walk. I won’t be hurried just because he threw a pair of pants and a short on and has been waiting for 15 minutes for us to get ready. It is definitely part of the reason that my daughter and I hate travelling with him!
Definatley not. My family is pretty negative and I dont have a single friend who likes makeup like I do. My boyfriend tells me I’m just putting dirt all over my face and my daughter will say things like, “we don’t live in Brazil” when I wear the Huda Electric Obsessions palette. I keep my love to myself now.
Yes! Not all my friends are as into it as I am, but all the female friends can appreciate it. And a lot of my friends and coworkers bond over this.
I’d have to say no. My love for all things beauty stemmed from an early stint as a sales person for Estée Lauder in a large department store as a young adult. None of my friends or acquaintances understand my early “conditioning” that grew into care and interest about my skin and appearance. I would consider myself (as my friends most likely do) as a “high maintenance girly girl” and I’m perfectly okay with that. Makeup is a form of artistic outlet that I enjoy very much. Not gonna ugly down just to please the non makeup wearers no matter how much ribbing I get. (That actually happened when I moved to a new city in the early ‘90’!) I will be wearing makeup until I can’t see to put it on anymore. My adult daughters “get “it” and enjoy my decluttering and the benefits that go with my collection.
I have their promise to never EVER let me get visible hairs on my chin!! ??
Not really. Some women I know wear lipstick and maybe mascara, but they always go for drugstore brands, so they don’t understand splurging on brands like Chanel…or even MAC, for that matter! Two of my coworkers actually wear dollar store lipstick (and it looks it).
Nope, I’m alone in my love of makeup, so thank you, Temptalia, for giving me a community where I can dish about makeup.
I don’t have a lot of friends; most of those I do have are internet only. Most of the ones I have I’ve made through the makeup community, so they get it. The ones who aren’t into makeup don’t care whether I am, and don’t give me any grief. A few have even asked me for makeup advice.
I’m in the same boat! A lot of internet friends get my passion, but then again, some of those friends are friends I have made because of makeup.
Some do. I know my daughter does. Even my son does! But there are also those who just don’t get it. And I’m okay with that, as long as they’re not being snarky or critical over it. My attitude is basically: This is my creative outlet and hobby, I’m doing ME, you do “You” how you want, but I don’t need a negative attitude coming at me if you’re not into it!
Nope – none of my closest friends are anywhere remotely interested in beauty products quite like me. Most of them don’t wear makeup at all. I guess it’s a personal thing and it’s one of my hobbies.
My twin sister is more into clothes and jewelery rather than makeup, although she does wear it.
So I just stick to my online buddies here to discuss it.
Now they do.
They see that I actually love makeup and the money I spend on it is not considered a waste to me as they used to think. I don’t care what they think but I know what they think lol.
Sort of, though they don’t understand why I am so obsessed with palettes.
Not many of my irl friends get it, and something I struggle with are my sisters in law not getting it. My sisters in law have naturally clear and beautiful skin that looks better than me wearing my fullest coverage foundation. They don’t even get remotely oily or sweaty! I don’t think they’ve ever felt the need to wear makeup (whereas my love of makeup stemmed from being insecure for many years and using makeup as an outlet to be more confident), so I don’t think they’ve ever had the same appreciation for makeup as I have.
My almost 30yr old daughter turned around to me and asked me last week why do I like makeup and I answered that it makes me feel good! Meanwhile, i can’t discuss my love of makeup with anyone. I do get compliments which is nice but it would be nice to meet someone my age, almost 60, to share it with.
Also, how can I forget, my husband will compliment me and I will show him what I bought and tell him what’s it for. I keep it short and sweet as to not confuse or bore him.
I’m a belly dancer, and most of my friends are belly dancers too, so there’s a certain amount of love or at least acceptance of makeup that comes with the territory! I’m definitely way over on the “love” side of things so I have friends who come to me for makeup ideas and suggestions since I’ve tried so many products and read/watch so many reviews and tutorials.
I don’t know about my friends since I been a runner and they have mostly seen me in the battle field all sweaty, a mess with a plain face (we’ll, I do have spf on and I will just swipe whatever is left on one of my blush brushes to have a little healthy color before I actually gain a natural flush ‘cause it is running! I’ll turn red when is a tough, long run. When I return home before heading in a nice long warm shower and see my face in the mirror I been surprised how red I’ll get but is all good and healthy and fun!). But those same friends know I wear makeup and I would think they support me when they make the nicest remarks when we have held at home parties before a marathon to plan things out and much better after to celebrate. My male friends and girls alike will shout ‘Look at you’ wow! All cleaned up and looking great’ Lol! At the big marathon party some of us honestly, can’t hardly recognise each other. Some girls get so made up hair up, long earrings, beautiful dresses and being fit Hell, a plus! Is really remarkable how dressing up in the right clothes and a nice makeup job can do. The girls especially turn out so beautiful and our coach I can tell he is checking us out. Lol! I’m myself am all for supporting looking feminine and just pretty, classic and looking your best whatever your style is but a straight no woman. I despise women who pretend to be weak and act sissy as some old fashioned ones like to pretend. Those days are over. We are smart, strong oh, much stronger mentally than men only lacking their muscle tone.
Yes, most women in my family love dressing up well and wearing makeup and not to brag I’ll say they are all beautiful especially from my moms side they really are gorgeous looking people and nice, warm caring family. My dad’s side the women are not ugly either and also into dressing fashionably but on my mom’s side they are really good looking many of them like models. I consider myself the ugly duckling compared to most of them. Lol! My daughter is gorgeous too she gets compliments all the time.
I enjoy seeing all kinds of makeup from all kinds of walks of life from pretty soft to gothic, to whatever bring it on have fun with it express yourself and don’t bother whith whatever others think of you. I do have one friend who doesn’t wear a drop and gosh! I would never dare tell her but I wish she would a little blush, mascara, a bit of gloss with some color wouldn’t kill her. She is a few years younger than me but looks so bleh, blah. And at some parties she has noticed I reapplied my lipstick and shouts ‘I see you really are into it’ is kind of embarrassing she’ll say it over and over on my face so much my sis-in law overheard it and she answered Yes it is nice to take care of yourself and wear it! Lol! And I’m not wearing to impress anyone or flirt with anyone I just love it. I feel like shouting back Yes I do! And is none of your business in fact you could use some blush in that flat canvas. But I wouldn’t dare. Don’t want to be rude. But I feel like blowing up sometimes with this certain friend. So intrusive. No tact how to say it. Lol! Drives me crazy.
No. I have people in my life who are actually very rude about the amount of money I spend on cosmetics – and other things – and I want to be like, excuse me, you are not my wife. My budget is not your business. Stay in your lane.
My oldest friend (friends for 43 years) fondly recalls me doing my makeup in HS washroom before classes started. She has never used makeup apart from mascara & lipstick on her wedding day. We accept that we have different interests. I have several former colleagues & a niece who share my love of makeup so we have some good discussions. I guess if anyone was very critical I just wouldn’t make it part of a conversation. I certainly wouldn’t be hurt if anyone disapproved. To each his own.