Monday, August 23rd, 2010

Every Man Jack Shave Cream

The Tech Guy Shaun, aka The Tech Guy, aka my boyfriend, is here with another must-read “manly” review. He’s twenty-seven with normal-to-dry skin and suffers from no more acne (much to my envy!).  This guy is all about GTL.  Well, gym.  And laundry.  On occasion.  OK, when he runs out of clothes!

Shaun enjoys long walks on the beach, vegging out on the couch watching chick flicks, and cuddling with Mellan. Or maybe not! He handles all the behind-the-scenes action here at Temptalia, from tech support to server woes to being my shoulder to cry on.

Some products are too over the top with their packaging, but this time we have the complete opposite. Packaging so dull that light can’t escape it. So lackluster that you nearly fall aslee…. What, huh?! Sorry, I was staring at the packaging and dozed off… Where was I?

Every Man Jack, which is one of the most ridiculous names for anything that I’ve ever heard is a serviceable Shave Cream ($5.99 for 6.7 fl. oz.), however, it cost me my marriage.. Intrigued?! I know I am!

I started using this stuff in the late fifties, when times were much simpler than they are now. They had Coke in glass bottles! Psh, plastic! How am I supposed to bludgeon anyone with plastic? I was using this cream, and it was going pretty well, aside from the fact that I’d get tired every time I looked at the bottle. Days passed after usage and I noticed that there was white residue in the sink. I would only see it at random because our sink is white and it kind of blended in with the scenery.

I started to harbor resentment: “I would never leave this muck in the sink! How dare she?!” I cleaned out the sink and gave the stink eye to Christine, but I didn’t tell her why. Weeks passed and the mysterious white residue kept reappearing. My rage was hitting its peak. There was only one thing left to do…. Murder!!! DUNT, DUNT, DAHHHHHHHHH.

I figured I would shave before the deed was done, one must always look presentable no matter how dirty the work is. I polished off a few Cokes and lined up the bottles ready for a good bludgeoning. While shaving, I noticed that it wasn’t Christine who had left the residue behind in the sink, IT WAS ME!!! PLOT TWIST! There was only one thing left to do. I took a Coke bottle and bludgened myself with it. An unfortunate ending to a tragic tale!

I’ve never really seen this type of thing before, but the stuff leaves quite a bit of white residue in the sink that requires a good cleaning, and hopefully doesn’t cause the downfall to your marriage like it did for me. I do, however, like this product. It works well, and there are no frills or anything that will slow you down, aside from trying to read the ingredient list. How does something so simple have such a long list in such a tiny font?!? BAH!

Recommendation: If you are buying your man shaving cream and he’s adverse to anything shiny, then this is the product for you. The bottle is so dull that instead of counting sheep you could count this bottle instead and never make it passed one. ZING!

Follow me on Twitter (@shauntechguy) and be amazed at my usage of words such as: bludgeon, bludgeoned, and bludgeoning. Also, we have a sweet Dog Blog at: Paws and Kisses.