Tuesday, October 11th, 2011

Temptalia Asks You


Has anyone told you that you were wearing too much makeup? How did you handle it?

Temptalia's AnswerI haven’t had anyone in real life say that to me, and if they did, I might later check my foundation to see if something went awry. I’d probably just say, “thanks for letting me know,” and get far, far away from that kind of a person, because people who say things to be hurtful aren’t ones I’d be around. Helpful is one thing, but snide and snarky, no thanks!

Thanks to Stacey for today’s question! Got a question idea? Submit yours here.

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131 thoughts on “Has anyone told you that you were wearing too much makeup?

  1. John

    Yep my mom tells me that everyday. Anything that has color is too much haha.

    But Christine, I don’t get what you mean by, “I’d…get far, far away from that kind of a person.” Are you saying you don’t like people who are outspoken and/or honest? I’d like to think that the person said it to help you and not be mean. Or is it because you’re embarrassed?

    I personally would like someone to tell me if he/she thinks my foundation looks to fake/cakey. Just like I’d want someone to tell me if I had food in my teeth.

    • Hi John,

      If they did so in a hurtful way, then yes. I’ve seen more people do it in a very snide, snarky way – not helpful way. Your friend saying, “Hey, that foundation looks cakey” is different than saying “You look like a clown,” which is how I’d interpret “wearing too much makeup.”

      • Chynna

        Agreed. It’s about how it’s done and where it’s done. Telling someone she has too much makeup on with the wrong words or in the wrong way isn’t helpful, which is how it sounded from the question. It’s one thing to have a friend pull you aside and quietly tell you that you have lipstick on your teeth (Thank you, you’re a real friend!) and another to have someone just blurt out that you’re wearing too much makeup (rude!). Besides, “too much makeup” is totally subjective, isn’t it? Usually when we hear someone say this, it’s followed by something like, “you/she look(s) like a whore” or a clown and isn’t really something constructive. Constructive criticism is tricky and it’s all about the words you choose and the how/when/where you use those words. The question didn’t include any of that and left it at the statement with no other considerations, which I think sounds rude.

        • That’s exactly how I interpreted it!

        • Christina

          I think it could be rude or – honest. See below :)

          • Alfton

            I remember a few years back I would wear eyeshadow to work and the girls would be like why do you put those colors on your eyes. I would say because I like it and I don’t want to look bland or boring. Fast forward to today and every cashier wears eyeshadow. I even had a coworker who is also a Facebook friend go on Facebook on a whole rant about “Why do chicks wear makeup?” I liked her status and commented “Don’t knock it til’ you buy it, oops I mean try it?” lol som people are so inconsiderate but I feel like I can wear what I want to wear because I like it and if you don’t just don’t look at me! #SIMPLE

          • Stef

            So true! I’ve had friends who make fun of me “oh my lord..u’re all decked up.” and i’ll just be sporting an eyeliner and lipstick :-/ But I don’t really care..it makes me happy..and prettier than them :P

      • Christina

        Hmmmm… I’d think it’s a different situation if something is badly applied or gone awry as you say, or if the issue for the person is “there is way too much going on”. As a matter of fact I often ask people I trust “do I look like I have too much makeup on?”. I think amongst makeup fans there can be a tendency of having waaaay too much going on, ending up clownish indeed even if nothing is badly applied or melted away. I have gotten more and more into makeup, but I have not always been this way, so I keep this fear of becoming what I noticed as odd before. So now as I wear much more, I like to keep an honest eye on how I look to people who do not wear the full program. Is it ok for people to care less? Of course. Is it in the reverse ok for ppl to not like the full-blown makeup program? Obviously. I choose to care whether I have too much going on, because I agree crossing the borderline (same with too much going on accessories-wise, f.e.) is not pretty. I think it takes a lot of courage to tell someone “You’re wearing way too much makeup/blush/eye shadow”. I don’t think the reaction should be anger unless that person really, really were trying to get someone down (which I think is the minority of the cases, even if some are too snidy or harsh).

  2. Lorena

    I’ve been told I wear a lot of make-up not that it looks bad but because I wear it all eyeshadow, liner, blush

  3. Yeah, and I don’t care. I just get sassy, ha ha. People tend to commentate on stuff I do a lot….

  4. People always think I wear no makeup, but I do keep my concealing at a minimum, sometimes it’s not even covered out entirely but that’s okay. This is why I’m scared of wearing foundation, because I feel lile none of them look like real skin.

    • Chynna

      I get this a lot, too. I used to hardly ever wear makeup, so when I did I didn’t feel confident and felt like it was too much. I’d wipe most of it off before I let anyone see, then ask my friend/boyfriend if I was wearing too much and the response was always, “you’re wearing makeup? I couldn’t tell.”

      Now I wear it more often and I’m more confident about everything except highlighters with glitter bits (I swear I see them even when the SAs insist there isn’t any) and blush, which I still think I could use more practice with.

  5. Diane

    A friend’s 8 year old daughter told me “you wear a lot of makeup” but she didn’t say it as anything other than a factual comment … no judgment in it. She didn’t mean “you wear TOO much makeup” just “you wear a lot of it.” I was kind of offended but then I realized that kids can’t help themselves in a way.. they are super honest. (Her mom doesn’t wear any makeup, so my minimal makeup must seem like a lot to her!!!) Oh well.

  6. I dont think being told that one wears too much makeup is being snide or snarky. I dont take it personal. Kim Kardashian wears too much makeup and people say so. Does she care? As I get older, I wear more makeup and a variety of eyeshadows…..not to coverup, but because I bought so much makeup since I started reading Temptalia. I am not heavy handed with my makeup. If anyone says that I wear too much makeup, I would say “Oh, you are so jealous….you just dont look as good as me.”

  7. Mostly just my freakin’ mom, like everyday. But it’s just because she’s really old school, if it were up to her I would have never started threading/plucking my eyebrows or changing my hair color and cut too. I’ve even found better ways to make my face makeup look more natural but still, she always calls me out on wearing “clown” makeup. It is really annoying sometimes, especially since everyone else besides her compliments me!

    • leli

      I have the exact same problem with my sister.For her make-up means a tiny bit of mascara,a tiny bit of blush and maybe some lip-gloss!
      She says I shoundn’t wear that much makeup whenever I go out(which I assure you I don’t and I make sure that my foundation looks like skin…She is way old school(and she is way too young ) but she’s always been like this for other stuff too…
      My best friend though says I should be a makeup artist cuz I know so much stuff about makeup and I always looks great!So I stop listening to my sister!!

  8. I get told all the time. Mostly old people I serve at work, they also nag me about my piercings and say my makeup/piercings ruin my pretty face. My mum tells me sometimes too. Mostly cause she thinks eyeliner/glitter = nighttime look. I usually just overlook it or smile, or say to “each their own”. Or explain to my mum that the “rules” of makeup have changed and you can wear glitter during the day.

  9. Mai Choua

    Fortunately no one has ever told me that i wore too much makeup. My makeups are always natural looking and fresh. I don’t like the overdone look of foundation that don’t match the neck or the crazy smokey eye look.

    -l0ve

    • Mimi

      I’m with you on that smokey eye look. I think women are being sold a bill of goods on that one. It just makes everyone look like a witch, tired, strung out etc. Not a pretty site.

  10. hahha oh yeah, my mom tells me that all the time. I don’t take it personally though, since her definition of “too much makeup” is “any makeup at all.”

  11. Mei

    When I was in my twenties, someone told me, you are still so young, you should not be wearing so much makeup. I was so offended then coz I was just wearing foundation with lipgloss. Anyway I wouldn’t want to be like her. She is in her 30s but look like 50s! Always sloppily dressed in shapeless pants and tee shirt that has been washed many times they were out of shape. Oh my.

  12. I just think its rude to pass personal judgements onto someone else. If someone wants to rock the fact they got mugged by a skittles bag..I say work it!

  13. Margaret

    I find that people say I’m wearing too much makeup when they can tell I’m wearing ANY makeup, especially guys. Girls always compliment me on my makeup, and guys just comment on my makeup, if that makes sense. I used to get bothered by it, but now I just don’t care! It’s my face, and if they don’t like it then that’s there problem.

  14. karen

    Yes at dinner time. My parent’s friends say that I wear too much makeup compared to my sister. My sister does wear makeup but mostly just concealer and cheek stain. Whereas I do all of it. I am much more tanned in comparison to my sister as well because I go out more often. They think I put on bronzer to fake tan or something!! They think I look wayyy older than her but I am only 1 year older than my sis but it’s super hard to tell. . really depressing but I love makeup and I’m going to use it !

  15. Avatar of Veronica Veronica

    Not personally, but I find that it really depends on an individual’s idea of “too much makeup.” For some, more than a natural look is excessive. Personally, I only really notice it if it’s poorly done makeup. If you’re going to go big, you have to know what you’re doing.

  16. Elle l

    My mom and my hubby has been told I wear too much make up
    About two years ago, was popular smokey eyes and I tried on. Then my mom saw me and said were u Lady gaga or tried to be a panda ??? My mom always says some funny ways about my make up.

  17. Tigress

    My assistant manager, who is also my friend, doesn’t understand my eyeshadow addiction and makes comments when I wear bright eye makeup. Nothing bad or anything, but she swears my eyelids are gonna fall off or something. haha Keep in mind she doesn’t wear a stitch of makeup and has never seen anyone do their makeup like I do. She once told me “you look like those girls in magazines” to which I said thanks! :D

  18. Ayzee

    Hahaha! I always get that comment from by brother. He’s not used to girls wearing makeup, so even just a bold lippie scares him. I just laugh it off. :))

  19. No, never :) And I wear quite a lot ;)

  20. Paddychat

    Yes, my husband !!!
    He thinks that natural and no make up is better !!!

    NEVER !

    • Michele

      I have the same kind of husband!!

    • Roxanne

      Oh I’m so glad my boyfriend is the opposite! If I wear a colourful eye look or bold lipstick, he goes “Ooooo I like your eyes/lips”. I always ask him what colours I should combine, so he kind of has a hand in my makeup process LOL

  21. This has only happened to me once, and it felt like an ambush! I was at a going away lunch, and infront of everyone at the table, a friend of a friend said “Why do you wear so much makeup?” “It would look better if you weren’t wearing any makeup” “I myself don’t wear makeup”. It was completely awkward for everybody present and all I was wearing that day was a light dusting of powder, a lick of mascara and some balm. GTFO!

    • kharanya

      I would have nicely replied “So I don’t look like you darling” No-one’s ever told me to my face that I wear too much makeup lately. Now in my younger days, they did, but I did what I pleased anyway. You just gotta make yourself happy & not worry what people think.

  22. Jaye

    I don’t really get that comment a whole lot… but it’ll happen every once and a while… it really irritates the crap out of me though :/…. I always like to say this to the person… “How bout this… I’ll take some of mine off if you promise to put some on! Seems fair to me!!” :). Usually the people who say those types of comments are totally clueless on how to apply it themselves and they don’t wear any. Or so i’ve noticed… not true for every case of course.

  23. Yazmin

    I get told at work by the Men in jest. They dont mean it, they just try and wind me up. And when i wear loads of makeup, like i i have the time to go the full nine yards, they compliment on how pretty i look. MEN!

  24. Avatar of Elizabeth cydoniac

    one day,I did a look that was supposed to play up my cheeks…so I wore beige eyeshadow with a little gold eyeliner, MAC Breezy blush on cheeks and a light pink Korres lipgloss…it was perfect,it was exactly what I had wanted it to be,”dramatic” cheeks and all…! so,I went to this pharmacy and an old lady told me that she found me really beutiful BUT I had put on too much blush…!!!I tried to expain to her that I had done so on purpose but she went on about how women should wear very little blush to look natural….urghhh…

  25. mumtaza

    Oh yes and by too much they mean any at all. Most of the time it’s for a laugh though. I’m the only girl in three brothers so they like to poke fun at the wilder sides of my feminity. I pay them no mind. If a stranger told me that, I’d say “too much makeup for what? I’ve got this thing to do here in a while.” And wink raunchily.

  26. Danae

    Women have always complimented on my makeup whereas I get the “you wear too much makeup!” line from men all the time! Even my boyfriend says so sometimes. I just don’t get it. They are in awe in front of the makeup perfect-flawless-retouched hollywood faces but would prefer their friends and girlfriends to be plain Janes.

    • Avatar of Veronica Veronica

      To be honest, I think some of that unfortunately comes from the social preconception that how women present themselves is predominantly intended for the pleasure of men. So made up celebrities is fine because the makeup is designed to enhance them and give the appearance of supernatural perfection. But creative makeup done for a woman’s pleasure is an entirely different issue, and for men, one that challenges their notion of how women should carry themselves.

      Not to say that this is the case of all men (and occasionally women), but I’ve had my fair share of, “No, I am wearing this because I like it, not because I care if you like it” conversations with people.

      • Kate

        Veronica, this is a great comment. I couldn’t agree more. It’s not every man’s attitude, but it’s a very common one to find in our society.

  27. Samantha

    Not so much too much makeup, but makeup that didn’t suit me – like foundation that was too dark (and I couldn’t see the line). In those cases I actually appreciate it, because I would rather wear no foundation than one that doesn’t match.

  28. Avatar of Mariella Mariella

    Nope. Either I know a lot of polite people or I’m doing an okay job in the makeup department!

  29. Avatar of Emma Emma

    Just my dad once or twice. To be honest, I just sort of ignored it. I mean he’s constantly commenting on my clothes etc and apparantly the earrings I wear to go out (clubbing etc) are too big. He’s always trying to give me fashion advice even though he doesn’t have any sort of fashion sense himself!lol. So it doesn’t mean much. I always get compliments on my makeup from friends and my hubby to be. I try to keep it reasonably natural/ neutral looking during the day but I do like to look polished.I tend to wear a smoky eye for evenings out. I think people just shouldn’t make negative comment on other people’s makeup and their style in general. I mean it’s up to them how they do it and it’s not hurting anyone else, even if it is not what you’d choose to wear x

  30. Avatar of artemis artemis

    yeah, they do. but i can’t help it, i got blemishes. if i didn’t i wouldn’t wear foundation just for nothing, like some do. but if they tell me i wear too much eyeshadow, lipstick and stuff like that i get pissed :)) but people always love them :P

  31. Tommy

    I’ve once had a guy say it just to be mean..

    and I just simply stated the fact that I wear a lot less than his girl friend and also blend better.

    He never said anything again afterwards.

    x

  32. No, but I do like to keep my base make-up natural looking. I love wearing bold colors but I dislike the look and heaviness of caked foundation/powder. (Mask, anyone?)

  33. softy

    my mom does some times .. ~

  34. Dame Elizabeth

    As an independent, empowered and intelligent woman it is my right to determine how I present myself to the world. I am ruled only by my own choices and emotions, not by what a patriarchal society with certain ideas of beauty forces upon me.
    If someone has a problem with the way I look, it’s their problem not mine.
    Similarly, if a man wants to wear make-up, he should not be seen as effeminate or treated with disrespect.
    Subvert gender role, create art, live your life, be at peace, and celebrate freedom!

  35. joanne

    i think you should learn to accept constructive criticisms. even if it is hurtful, learn from it.

    • I don’t think this question was driving at constructive criticism, because that is certainly not what I was replying to. :) Please read my response – I specifically said that being helpful is a different situation than what I referred to, which is when someone is snarky, rude, and deliberately hurtful. Why would you want to stick around and listen to people who are trying to bring you down? Your friend telling you your foundation doesn’t match is very different than what this question asked.

    • I firmly believe that unsolicited ‘advice’, even presented under the guise of ‘constructive criticism’, is incredibly rude- especially when it comes to another person’s physical appearance. Not only is it rude, but it is also incredibly egotistical- it assumes that your (‘your’ as in the person making the criticism) point of view when it comes to appearances is the correct one- and we should all know there are many different views on what is the correct way to present oneself. What you may like, another person may find tacky.

  36. Avatar of Leah Leah

    I’ve actually been asked if I’m wearing make-up when I’m not. Something about my complexion and under eye circles… I have no idea actually haha.

    Never been told too much though. Weirdly enough I’ve had a few guys (like, average guys in bars, not make up aficionados or anything) COMPLIMENT my eye make up when I’ve done a smokey eye. I figure that’s more of a general sense of bewilderment with the mysteries of female cosmetics haha.

  37. Natasha

    You are very polite! I’ve had a random woman come up to me and tell me that the make up I was wearing did nothing for my ‘pasty’ complexion.. Being almost pure white I like Dark Wine lipstick, but she thought I should stick with nude. She even tried to wipe it off my face. Some people are a wee bit batty.

    • Natasha

      By that I mean she considered me too heavily made up, not that it was just the colour. To be clear. lol.

    • I’m very pale, too, and love dark lipstick every now and then. I don’t know what I’d do if someone tried to wipe makeup off my face. That’s just insane. D:

  38. Rachel

    I think one time when I was in seventh grade, not a lot of girls were wearing makeup yet so no one was used to it. I had on mascara and eyeliner, just a little of each and this boy said I wear too much makeup. I was really offended so I stopped wearing makeup for a while. But now I don’t care if people say that, I think it’s rude to say that.

    • Avatar of Por Kim

      Middle school was also about the same time that someone told me that I was wearing too much makeup. A few girls in my grade were already wearing makeup, so I decided one day to wear some purple eyeshadow that my grandmother gave me. One of my classmates said, “Aww, she’s trying to wear makeup,” in such a sarcastic tone. It was unfriendly and I felt really embarassed. I stayed away from makeup for a long time. I think in college I revisited makeup because I was more confident with my skills. Also, I love art and color so there was no way to avoid transforming those loves into makeup! Makeup should be what you want it to be, not someone else’s ideal.

      • Rachel

        I agree, makeup is my way of being artist and playing with colors. I think it’s sad that some girls stop wearing makeup because of comments other make about how much makeup they wear. Some people are just so critical.

  39. Avatar of Karine Fiaspice

    Once a friend told me that “that night” I hat too much. Well I only had a bit teal eyeshadow and mascara and no flashy lip color. But she was quite drunk so I blame that.

  40. Avatar of Annie Annie

    I always wear crazy bright and/or dramatic makeup, like the kind of stuff you see on makeupbee.com I’ll wear any color in the spectrum. I’ve never had anyone tell me anything negative about it, although my mother told me once that I looked like a drag queen. I still took it as a compliment ;P

  41. Leah

    While I’ve never had anyone tell me I wear too much, I always seem to have ladies comment when I wear bright lips. “Oh wow, you’re wearing red and/or hot pink lips, I could NEVER wear colors that bright!” I just smile and encourage them to try something new.

    My boyfriend likes the amount of makeup I wear, but I think he gets a little annoyed when I want to put on powder and mascara just to go grocery shopping, lol.

  42. cristalle

    once, from a friend. which is weird because i dont put alot of make up. i dont even put on sunblock,foundation, i only occassionally do smokey eyes, and i guess she said that cause she only put on foundation, concealer and eyeliner.

    thanks christie for elightening me that people who hurt me doesnt deserve any kind treatment and i shouldnt even mix with them in any case

    • If someone is deliberately hurting you, whether it’s just verbally or more, you should feel confident in saying, “No, that’s not okay,” and doing something to change the situation! The amount of bullying and verbal abuse that happens these days is so concerning!

  43. I find it strange that, with most of us being girls here, there are so many comments saying that people’s mothers say this to them frequently! Considering that we are directly influenced by our mothers from a young age – how she dresses, how she does her makeup, and so on, it seems odd that our mothers (mine included) would suggest that we are wearing too much makeup. I’m 24, and my mom is the one who taught me the basics of how to put makeup on – partly by watching, and partly by direct instruction – and I have told her that because of this, it is more than slightly messed up that she is also the only one that is telling me I have on “too much.” I have, though, been informed by outside sources that she only says this because I haven’t just stuck to what she taught me when I was twelve – I have learned more, and worked on my technique a lot. I have also expanded my product options (thanks Christine!!), and for that, she is a little bit jealous.

    • Avatar of Quinctia Quinctia

      Eh, we don’t learn everything about makeup from our moms. My mom’s two important basics past foundation are blush and mascara. I never wear blush and I will forego mascara if I haven’t done a heavy eye look.

      My mom never wears eyeliner, so it was a long time before I even tried wearing it. It was just about the last category of makeup I tried, and I wear it a lot now. My mom will skip eyeshadow a lot, too, and for me “putting on my makeup” is generally my foundation and then eyeshadow. XD

      No one in my life tells me I’m wearing too much makeup, but I’ve always been known for having random clothes and accessories with flash and bling, I have rhinestones in my glasses, a hello kitty steering wheel cover, and a fluorescent yellow belt, usually makeup pales in comparison.

    • Avatar of Veronica Veronica

      Eh, it doesn’t surprise me too much. We have a tendency to socialize women to criticize themselves and by proxy each other. Mothers, above all, probably feel the least restrained when it comes to honesty and forthrightness with their own children.

      This being said, my mom’s been pretty cool about the makeup issue now that my interest in it has increased. I even notice her stealing my products occasionally. :D

  44. Avatar of Catherine CatherineM

    Yes, a couple of times. Some of my friends don’t wear makeup at all, while I rarely leave the house without my foundation, concealer and mascara and like to “doll up” a bit on nights out. Red lips or smokey eyes are usually commented on. I don’t mind though. I like to leave the house, knowing I look my best. I think what matters the most is that YOU like how YOU look, so too much or too little is very subjective…

  45. Nia

    In fact, I have mentioned someone I care about, that her makeup was too much, (like slapped on layers and layers). I just meant to help her so that her photos come out better, but I guess it doesnt come out right!. I might have offended her,so now I just keep mum about it.

    • Maybe you should offer to do each other’s makeup some night – just for fun, when you’re not going out :) You can show her a new technique, and she might even realize her technique doesn’t work when she sees it on someone else!

      • Nia

        We dont even live in same town! Plus, that would be further more from me! But since I have been learning natural soft-looks, pairing with bold eyes and soft lips….etc…I notice so many wrongs! out there……cant help it!

  46. Margaret

    my mom and dad cause they’re extremely old school.. they don’t mean any harm by it though, they usually say “you don’t have to put on makeup, you look pretty without it” and they make a point to tell me I look pretty when I don’t have much on. I think it’s heavy eye makeup that gets them though, which I do kinda tend to wear a lot. My mom doesn’t wear any makeup ever but unfortunately I was not blessed with her super tan and flawless complexion!
    My boyfriend doesn’t care how much makeup I wear, he says I look pretty and natural without it but I also look good with it on. Sometimes he and my parents chat about how pretty I look without makeup lol. I think he likes to see me dolled up every once in a while though. And he definitely doesn’t have a problem with color, he loves when I wear bright pink lipstick (a la Pink Nouveau). He knows how much I love experimenting with makeup so he’s okay with most everything I wear.
    I would appreciate if someone told me (in a helpful way) if my makeup looked cakey and fake so I could fix it. I always try to make my foundation look as natural as possible, so I would want to know if it looked bad.

  47. Alejandra

    I certainly have been told that before.It was last year and my female teacher who doesn’t wear any makeup asked me in front of the class”How long does it take you to put on your makeup? and I responded with “40 minutes more or less”.To my right I hear some guy who says “That’s too much”.I restrained myself from saying “What’s it to you?”,or “Who asked you?”.Some people really feel entitled to voice their opinions I guess.
    There was also an occasion where my 10 year old female cousin told me that I look better with makeup on because without it my face is too pale.
    My brother also told me “That’s way too much makeup” once while I was applying gold eyeshadow.I didn’t see it as rude though.Later on he gave me a Sephora gift card for my birthday :)
    Men/women have complimented my makeup/face more than insulted it, and even if they didn’t I would still wear as much makeup as my little heart desired.

  48. Erika

    I’ve been told by a few people. However, I don’t care what others say. I wear my makeup how I like and want. My mom used to tell me that all the time when I started out wearing makeup and her definition of makeup is no makeup at all. Now that she see’s me wear makeup everyday she doesn’t say anything, instead she compliments me on when she really likes my makeup :)

  49. LunaMoth

    my ex boyfriend used to tell me i wear too much eyeshadow and lipgloss. never too much foundation (although he always wanted to see me natural.. not happening ever with anyone outside my family i live with!)

  50. Lexi

    A lot of my male friends tell me that I wear too much makeup, usually followed by something along the lines of “I prefer girls who don’t wear makeup.” My response to this is usually that I don’t care what they prefer, I wear makeup because I enjoy it and not because I’m trying to attract them. They always seem confused by this.

  51. No, no one has actually ever said that to me. Not that I remember. I had a client once who did kind of hint at the fact that she wasn’t looking for my kind of dramatic make-up but that’s it. And this client was a bridal client, I obviously was not wearing bridal make-up.

    If someone did say something like that to me I’d tell them it’s none of their business what I wear on my face and to step off. Even if I do feel people are wearing too much make-up or it looks to heavy/cakey/not well applied, I won’t say it to them. If someone comes LOOKING for advice, that’s a different story.

  52. Is it weird/sad when my boyfriend gives me compliments most of the time when I’m WEARING makeup? haha!

    • Instant Karma

      Don’t worry — my boyfriend does this, too! I think it just means that he thinks you’re beautiful no matter what, but recognizes that you’re applying your makeup well.

      My boyfriend often compliments my eye makeup when I make the effort to do something beyond just wearing mascara (most days, I go for the “no makeup” makeup look). He’s not complimenting me because he thinks my naked eyelids are hideous (lol, what a strange concept), and I doubt he thinks I necessarily look better in makeup. Instead, I can think of two big reasons why my boyfriend responds the way he does.

      Firstly, I think men are acutely aware of how easily makeup can go very wrong. Guys are particularly weirded out by thick masks of foundation and “raccoon eyes,” and I think these extremes often stand out in their minds when they think of “makeup.” After all, the average man’s concept of base makeup is a woman screwing up royally: if it’s applied properly, he’s not going to notice that it’s even there. Clearly, our makeup skills are much better than this, so there’s no problem here :).

      Secondly, while I doubt our boyfriends have an interest in makeup that rivals ours, that doesn’t mean they can’t recognize a flattering makeup look. Plus, my boyfriend has seen me apply makeup and recognizes that it takes a good amount of effort. Thus, when I’ve taken the time to doll myself up, he wants to let me know that I look nice.

      I think some men automatically think that any visible makeup is “bad,” but in my experience, most can appreciate the aesthetics of a smokey eye or a bold lip, haha. After all, bold but well applied makeup makes them focus on our eyes and lips! As I said earlier, I don’t believe they think we necessarily look BETTER in makeup, but they can recognize that we look nice and want to compliment us so we know that our efforts haven’t gone unnoticed.

      Sorry to blab for so long! I have a fever and I get really wordy when I’m sick, lol.

  53. Utana

    Yes, it’s kinda horrible.
    Once I told a guyfriend that I had bad skin and he said “Oh that’s why you wear a sh*tton of makeup.” Even though he didnt really mean it that way, it hurt a lot. Then, he saw me in the background of a skype call my friend and i had where i had no makeup, and he was like “who was that? ew.” so that was another way he indirectly said i wore a lot. i was really offended, and now i dont leave the house without makeup…

    • Jamie

      Utana, don’t be afraid to leave the house without makeup just because of one of your ‘friends’ comments! I totally understand though, I never like to leave the house without concealer if I need it that day. Just remember that people will never look at you and think “I can’t believe she’s not wearing makeup” if you go out without it. You should wear makeup for you not for others!

  54. Nora

    My mom has told me that a few times when I was younger, and looking back I realize she was probably right! No strangers have told me that, though, but then I do try to balance eyes-lips (red lips + blue eyeshadow = not unless you’re Nicki Minaj!) and wear only what foundation I really need so that it’s never too excessive.

  55. kitty

    My mother used to tell me I didn’t wear enough! For my high school graduation, to appease her, I used a heavier hand with my make up and she really liked it.

    As I got older and more experienced I found that wearing makeup (specifically eye makeup) that you want people to see and notice does not mean just putting it on really heavily – it’s more about playing up your good features and making them pop.

  56. colette

    more like “you don’t need makeup you look nice being natural”. whatever lol….I look x100 times better with makeup! its just fact.

  57. Avatar of Katherine Katherine

    Yes it was at a job. I looked at the person that had said it to me and realized that she did not have any makeup on and never wore makeup. So I figured it was too much for her from her reference point. I did think it was inappropriate for her to comment on my personal appearance without being asked but she was outspoken about other things as well. I ignored her.

  58. Tenaya

    yeah when i was like 13 i wore THICK black wet and wild eyeliner on top AND bottom every single day. And i even had the lunch lady at school tell me i looked ugly. But the funny thing was is that i never wore anything else besides eyeliner =( NOW i wear Primer, concealer, foundation, setting powder, around 4 eyeshadows, 2 kinds of eyeliner mascara, fake eyelashes, and lip stick/lipgloss and my eyebrows are fully drawn in. Also, mascara, fake eyelashes, and lip stick/lipgloss and i always get compliments muhahahaa TAKE THAT lunch lady hehe jk jk

  59. My dad always tells me I’m wearing too much makeup, but I guess it’s just because he still wants me to be his little girl :)

  60. Katheryn

    I remember when I started out wearing makeup- I was always worried it was too much or too cakey looking. I’d put it on, my face would look good and I’d worry that I’d go out and people would say otherwise so I’d wipe it off and just go out without it. I’ve become more confident since then though. Back then, if something wasn’t handled politely towards me, I probably would have had a hard time dealing with it. I agree with the difference between being constructive and snarky- and I happen to be in contact with more snarky people during the day. The only time I really ever give criticism (or think it, in my head) is when I see something applied wrong. If you don’t know what you’re doing, it shows, and it lessens how good your makeup looks over-all. Other than that, I don’t find things to be over-done. I mean, if someone wants to wear bright eyeshadow, great for them. I think some people don’t realize that people like makeup so much- for them it’s not JUST about covering things up, even though that’s a big part of the point. I just rambled a lot.

  61. Kate

    My boyfriend of several years hasn’t said exactly that, but he’s asked me a few times why I “need” mascara, or “what’s the point” of my lip gloss. He’s commented once or twice about how “sad” it is that there are whole YouTube channels devoted to makeup/techniques, and that women are too concerned about their appearance.

    The last time he said it, I got annoyed. I reminded him that: 1) MEN are the ones drooling over airbrushed, painted, plastic actresses, so it’s stupid when those same men say that don’t like makeup; 2) plenty of women wear makeup for themselves, and 3) makeup is a real art form and/or hobby for some people.

    He apologized and stopped with the comments. He really is a sweetheart – he just doesn’t get it, in this case. He’s always thought that makeup = trying to look hot to men. But I think he’s started to notice how I use it – to look polished for work, to have fun with my friends, to pick myself up on a grey rainy day.

    Anyway, that’s my short story. I’ve overheard people ripping on women for their makeup, and it makes me sad. Even when I agree that the woman’s makeup isn’t tasteful, critics often act like vultures and say horrible, unjustified things – often out of rudeness and not out of genuine friendship. I don’t care if the woman is wearing literal, white-face clown makeup; she still has feelings. I totally agree with Christine – if someone’s tearing you down, get away from them!

    • Avatar of Por Kim

      Oh my gosh! My boyfriend is the same way! He saw me watching a makeup vlog and said, “What are you watching?… Oh, that? You know it just allows them to make more videos, right?” I might have let my emotions take over too much and I took that response as, “those videos are stupid and you’re stupid for watching them.” I have since spoken with him about it, using the same talking points that you mentioned. Now, he just lets me be. He’s knows that I paint and draw so the concept of makeup as art on my face was not that farfetched for him to grasp. All I really want is acceptance. If not acceptance, just tolerance and keeping rude remarks to one’s self.

  62. Yes, I’ve had some people tell me that, and I think it is the rudest thing to give unsolicited feedback on someone’s personal appearance. I like to wear interesting colors of makeup sometimes, and I use more products than the average person. My makeup is always carefully applied, and I get far more compliments than I do rude comments. When someone does feel the need to tell me they think I have too much makeup on, I like to respond with a comment like, “Too much for what?” or “Too bright/ dark/ etc… for what?”… and if they then respond by telling me my lipstick is too dark or whatever for daytime (or work, or whatever), I’ll politely ask them who exactly makes these rules. Usually by then they back off.

  63. Some people have the idea that wearing makeup is a way to hide yourself or pretend to be someone else. Generally, people think that think that way about makeup, say that the Other “uses heavy makeup,” even if that same person uses it or not: therefore I think is a matter of the concept of makeup in their minds. I’ve been said that I use too much makeup, but I do not take it as an insult because I know it’s used well –and sometimes I do wear “too much makeup”, and by that I mean full-face makeup. Usually after that comment, they ask me to teach them how to wear makeup. Finally I think it’s important that people understand that makeup is not a mask, but a way to emphasize our beauty, and even a form of artistic expression or creativity that can be done every day.

  64. nitnot

    In college I used to pile on my Maybelline powder foundation, and I had 3 differing opinions on that. A friend said I look like I have an inch of makeup on my face, another loved how I “flush” (amazing what a little blush can do), and a lady at a department store once took me aside and told me I had wonderful complexion out of the blue! How crazy is that?

    No matter what people say, you can’t please everyone anyway. Now I am a fan of sheer, blended out and very natural look for myself, but I love how one of my friend can carry off smoky jade eyeshadow in daylight, and another can pull off cool purple shadows on her warm skin. To each their own :)

  65. Jamie

    Recently I walked out of my apartment and my roommate said “Woah, pink cheecks and lips!” in a kind of ‘holy cow’ way. So I quick wiped off my lipstick I had on. While yes it felt crappy for about 2 seconds, I figured she’s probably right and the lighting in my room is pretty poor….so I actually didn’t mind. I’d rather be told when someone doesn’t look great than walk around looking goofy.
    I’ve also asked my mom in the past about how my eyeliner looks and she’d be honest and say “It’s kinda dark or a little thick”…For awhile I got annoyed because I personally liked the thick line on my upper lash line, but it made me try new techniques and has made me that much better at makeup!
    However, if a stranger said that to me without being asked, I wouldn’t be too happy. Makeup is a personal choice, and you can wear it however you like.

  66. Avatar of Elizabeth cydoniac

    have you noticed that there are many men out there who have a fear of makeup? meaning they are afraid that the woman they like might be totally different (aka a proper monster) underneath the makeup,so they prefer minimal makeup or no makeup at all…in my opinion,this is insane…

  67. Dana

    No one has ever said anything to me, but I sure some people have wanted too!

  68. My father. In very unkind words.

  69. Vanilla

    I think I’ve heard both compliments and negative things about my make up, and it really depends on my age at the time and who said it. When I was 13 and bought my first colored lip balm, my mother pulled me aside and told me to take it off before school because it was “inappropriate”. Then when I was around 16 I had a thing for glitter polishes, and my dad told me to take it off because glitter is for prostitutes. Both my parents are super conservative and frown upon pretty much everything, including hair dye. (Funny thing is, now that my dad has grey hairs he dyes his hair more than me!)

    I’ve been cursed with bad skin (redness, acne)and inherited dark under eye circles for the longest time, and my mom never uses make up or even sunscreen (til recently), so I never learned about it til very late and by then I have so much freckles. I wish someone would’ve told me about sunscreen earlier in life. Now I have to use many products and concealers on my face just to even out all the uneven skin tones. I always wear BBcream (rather than foundation) and undereye concealer when I go out, and people always compliment that I have “nice skin” when that is entirely not the case.

    In the last few years, I’ve been very interested and experimental with make up and I will admit I use a lot of things, though I try not to look overdone. I’ve been told by several people that I am very knowledgeable about skincare/make up and good at the application, and should consider being a MUA. I feel very flattered and I learn a lot of things from following Temptalia. Everyone around me is so used to me wearing make up that on days I’m lazy or in a hurry and show up with a near naked face, they ask me if I’m feeling unwell because I look “off”. Haha.

  70. Amanda

    My mom has always told me that I wear too much makeup. She once said I looked like a “call girl” which was only in her vocabulary because she was watching a special on Tiger Woods at the time. A boyfriend of a friend once commented on the fact that I owned a lot of makeup, which I laughed at and said, “I know” and he said, “No, you have A LOT of makeup… seriously… what do you need all of this makeup for?” His tone was very judgey and I think my friend could tell I was bothered, because he was super nice to me in our interactions after that incident.

  71. Avatar of stacey stacey

    A long, long time ago when I was a teenager we used to to wear something called “indian earth”. It was an orange powder that we put all over our faces. I guess we thought it made us look tan. I will never forget coming out of a movie and seeing my date with my orange powder all over his face! A couple days later he broke up with me because he said he didn’t want to wear my make-up anymore. I am still sad about that.

  72. Yes, and it was at a time I wasn’t wearing makeup! LOL I had the flu so I had a fever and so my skin was pale, my cheeks and lips flush and I had someone tell me I was wearing too much makeup when I had none on! LOL

  73. I feel people are such hypocrites when they say that someone is wearing too much make up,then they admire a celebrity’s good looks. Hello, a celebrity wouldn’t look so admirable without the war paint. I am just so frustrated by that you know! But I think it is because all the airbrushing and retouching and make up teams that celebrities rely on makes them look naturally flawless,something that many folk don’t get,hence the too much make up comment.

  74. Marina

    Yeah some people can’t take criticism.

  75. Carmen

    my mom sometimes tells me I’m wearing too much, and i don’t take it as an insult (and generally i listen to her because she knows what is appropriate for me to wear to school). my brother will say it sometimes, but not often enough for me to get upset.

  76. Alice

    Makeup makes you look a lot older unless your like 35. My friends in Canada cannot believe my friends in the States are not 23 but actually 18. For me, I never want to look older so I hardly wear any makeup.

  77. Ash L

    I get it all the time from my family because I wear cooky eyeshadow colors and glitter. They aren’t nice about it at all either. Also, because I am so pale, it is hard to find a foundation match, but I only ever get good constructive opinions when I ask my friends about it, not rude at all. I rarely care about someone’s opinion unsless they actually have experience really wearing makeup.

  78. Becca

    only my grandma, which really doesn’t count, and technically she just said I shouldn’t wear any makeup, so…….
    but no one other than that has ever said it directly to my face, but as I’m 14 and wear full face, I’m sure some people think it sometimes considering most people my age wear almost no makeup or very little.

  79. STACEY

    Yes! My question!

    My mom alwaysss tells me that I wear too much makeup “why are you wearing that?” or “you know that doesn’t look good on you,” most notably said about how I now fill in my (barely there) eyebrows. If I’m going out at night with friends, I make sure that she doesn’t see me with a full face of makeup just because I don’t need another lecture.

    Likewise, I substitute teach and a few (2 or so) students have said I look better without makeup. I don’t really think it’s anyone’s business on how I choose to wear my makeup for the day. Mind you, I like to look clean and polished at work, so I wear foundation and blush, and some eye makeup. I make sure not to over do it, as to keep it professional, but I do like the look of contoured cheekbones.

    to all the haters, if I want your opinion I’ll ask for it, otherwise leave me alone in my bubble!

    Also a previous reader earlier said someone commented on her makeup even though she waant wearing any… How strange, my dad did the same to me. He said that I should think about changing my makeup color ( I’m guessing my “foundation”) but I wasn’t wearing any makeup… Weird!

  80. STACEY

    Also my best guy friend doesn’t understand makeup at all. We are both 23 and like to go out on weekends occasionally. He doesn’t get why or how girls, myself included, can take up to 1.5 hours to get ready. When I’m finally finished with my makeup, often times he’ll look at me and shake his damn head, saying “fake everything…why you gotta wear all that makeup? Fake everything…fake eyelashes, fake contacts, fake tan…you don’t even look good and it pisses me off when girls do that. It like they’re trying to his something. ” I think his comments are ignorant, rude and uncalled for. No, I don’t have a fake tan, and only wear the fake lashes and color contacts a couple of times a year. Not all of us girls who get dolled up do it so we can “hide” something. I constantly hear from him how gorgeousssss Kim kardashian is but then he also fails to realize everything about her is fake and photoshopped a good amount of the time. She would look like nothing we no if she didn’t wear my fake-up

    Like I said before, leave me in my own bubble! We learned in elementary school to keep our mouths shut when we don’t have anything nice to say, though many people have seemed to forgotten this as they grew up.

    Yes, I know it’s not all about the makeup, but rather being confident in who you are, no matter how much or little makeup you are wearing or what others might say to bring you down…say no to the haters!

  81. Roxanne

    I think the worst I got was in junior high someone told me that my foundation was orange. Well, it kind of was, but I didn’t know because it had oxidized throughout the day since I had put it on. I was like 13, and didn’t know this could happen XD

    Otherwise, my little brother likes to say he doesn’t like red lipstick. But I really couldn’t care because my boyfriend LOVES red/bright lips.

  82. Yes, this one time I wore a smokey eye for a winter concert I was playing in and only my guy friend told me but I could feel people going like, ‘where is she going to, a nightclub?’. I even felt like I was wearing too much.

  83. Joy

    My mom told me my foundation made me look like I was wearing a mask so now I have a beauty blender and check my make up in natural sun light before I leave the house. lol It still looks kinda cakey but since I’m aware of it now I can try and make it look as natural as can be before I leave the house. I use MUFE Mat Velvet+ but it’s not really working well for me. I have super oily skin but it’s not oily until like noonish and it’s super dry and flaky in the am. :( I’m gonna try MAC’s matchmaster foundation and see how that goes.

  84. Avatar of LU LU

    My mom does tell me because she knows I can be heavy handed with my liquid foundation being that I normally wear powder foundation, so I actually appreciate her honesty! Once a friend told me I was wearing too much eye makeup, but it didn’t bother me. ^.^

  85. Avatar of Kathryn Kathryn

    When I first started wearing it my parents regulated the heaviness, but now they don’t really care.. No one else has really said anything.

  86. Naedyn

    I’ve had people tell me I had too much on (bf, mom, etc.) and I’ve had people tell me to put some/more on (people at school and work). You can’t keep everyone happy. I’d just take it into consideration and put on whatever I want.

  87. Avatar of Luis luis

    i get askd why do i even were it and that i dont need it and that i look better without it. but honestly i were it because i love it! and if im werering too much its only to the club.

  88. I work at a coffee shop and frankly, I love wearing bright eyeshadow or a bold lip color because wearing all black with a green apron gets boring! I love to mix it up and wear something that I want to wear! I never pair bold eyes with bold lips, though. I also tend to keep my blush and foundation subdued. I always need to conceal some areas (under eye, chin, acne spots), but other than that I just do enough powder foundation to even out my complexion, and enough blush to have a natural glow.

    I’ve always had positive comments toward my make-up by co-workers and customers, and if anybody did say I wore too much, I would just shrug it off because the best part of my day is getting to play with my make-up and wear whatever I want to wear :)

  89. Megan

    Yes but they were giving me a compliment which was kinda nice. They said, “You don’t need makeup-you’re gorgeous!” So that was sweet. I think if they mean it that way, then that’s cool.

  90. Myla

    My brother asked me if I got my eye punched ahahha but he was just annoying!

  91. Maddie

    People have told me I wear a lot of makeup, but not too much. I just tell them I wear makeup for myself.

  92. Avatar of Erin Erin C

    Someone did once, but it was Halloween and they didn’t realize I was in costume. I am totally serious!

  93. Avatar of Christina Christina

    YES! I don’t usually wear makeup, and one of the last times I did, I had a guy tell me I was wearing wayy too much and since then I’ve been realizing how much I really do dislike him. Luckily a girl friend was nearby to back me up and say I really wasn’t wearing much at all