Monday, August 23rd, 2010

Every Man Jack Shave Cream

The Tech Guy Shaun, aka The Tech Guy, aka my boyfriend, is here with another must-read “manly” review. He’s twenty-seven with normal-to-dry skin and suffers from no more acne (much to my envy!).  This guy is all about GTL.  Well, gym.  And laundry.  On occasion.  OK, when he runs out of clothes!

Shaun enjoys long walks on the beach, vegging out on the couch watching chick flicks, and cuddling with Mellan. Or maybe not! He handles all the behind-the-scenes action here at Temptalia, from tech support to server woes to being my shoulder to cry on.

Some products are too over the top with their packaging, but this time we have the complete opposite. Packaging so dull that light can’t escape it. So lackluster that you nearly fall aslee…. What, huh?! Sorry, I was staring at the packaging and dozed off… Where was I?

Every Man Jack, which is one of the most ridiculous names for anything that I’ve ever heard is a serviceable Shave Cream ($5.99 for 6.7 fl. oz.), however, it cost me my marriage.. Intrigued?! I know I am!

I started using this stuff in the late fifties, when times were much simpler than they are now. They had Coke in glass bottles! Psh, plastic! How am I supposed to bludgeon anyone with plastic? I was using this cream, and it was going pretty well, aside from the fact that I’d get tired every time I looked at the bottle. Days passed after usage and I noticed that there was white residue in the sink. I would only see it at random because our sink is white and it kind of blended in with the scenery.

I started to harbor resentment: “I would never leave this muck in the sink! How dare she?!” I cleaned out the sink and gave the stink eye to Christine, but I didn’t tell her why. Weeks passed and the mysterious white residue kept reappearing. My rage was hitting its peak. There was only one thing left to do…. Murder!!! DUNT, DUNT, DAHHHHHHHHH.

I figured I would shave before the deed was done, one must always look presentable no matter how dirty the work is. I polished off a few Cokes and lined up the bottles ready for a good bludgeoning. While shaving, I noticed that it wasn’t Christine who had left the residue behind in the sink, IT WAS ME!!! PLOT TWIST! There was only one thing left to do. I took a Coke bottle and bludgened myself with it. An unfortunate ending to a tragic tale!

I’ve never really seen this type of thing before, but the stuff leaves quite a bit of white residue in the sink that requires a good cleaning, and hopefully doesn’t cause the downfall to your marriage like it did for me. I do, however, like this product. It works well, and there are no frills or anything that will slow you down, aside from trying to read the ingredient list. How does something so simple have such a long list in such a tiny font?!? BAH!

Recommendation: If you are buying your man shaving cream and he’s adverse to anything shiny, then this is the product for you. The bottle is so dull that instead of counting sheep you could count this bottle instead and never make it passed one. ZING!

Follow me on Twitter (@shauntechguy) and be amazed at my usage of words such as: bludgeon, bludgeoned, and bludgeoning. Also, we have a sweet Dog Blog at: Paws and Kisses.

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14 thoughts on “Every Man Jack Shave Cream Review

  1. Lea

    Oh dear, this was hilarious! I love it!

  2. Kaylynrenee

    Ha!! If it’s leaving such a mess in the sink, I hate the think what it’s leaving behind on your face…

  3. This was.. the best thing I’ve read all day! I love reading your reviews, Shaun! I think I need to get my boyfriend to start reading these..

    All I could think was, “And next time.. on Mad Men..”

  4. Vijaya

    xD Your final recommendation was the funniest thing I’ve read in forever. Thanks for the review!

  5. Tekoa

    I’m thinking of some poor boy bludgoning himself with a coke bottle, horrified over the things he’s done. Sink residue…the agony!
    Since my version of decorating does not include white film I’ll pass this product. Though my fiance would be comforted by the packaging.

  6. Gotta disagree with ya on the packaging. It looks really streamlined and clean to me, perfect marketing to the male marketing.

    Although, the residue in the sink is a definite deal-breaker for me. Not interested in cleaning up muck after I’ve scrubbed my mug.

  7. Rae

    Oh god, is now a bad time to admit that I actually like the simple packaging?

    *ducks and covers*

    (Loved the review, though! Please don’t bludgeon yourself to death. We need you to keep writing your man-reviews!)

  8. Roxanne

    OMG! “The bottle is so dull that instead of counting sheep you could count this bottle instead and never make it passed one. ZING!”
    Can’t… breathe…! Someone get this guy a publicist. And an automatic bludgeoning-Coke-bottle polisher.

    • I don’t know if you’ll ever see this comment, but this line: “And an automatic bludgeoning-Coke-bottle polisher.” Had me laughing, thanks!

  9. inaya

    you and christine aren’t married.. ARE YOU?!

  10. Camilla

    My favourite shaving cream at the moment from Taylor of Old Bond Street (Avocado, very nice, unisex scent) also leaves some residue in the sink if I just do the old rinse the razor, brush and bowl routine. Though, it does not make it a bad shaving cream because of that.

    For me, this review honestly said rather little. It was funny but personally, I would be interested in knowing how the razor glided over the skin. Was there any dragging sensation? Does it produce a thick or thin lather? Was it a slick cream, or really more like your standard, thick soap lather? How did the razor blades look afterwards? Is it drying to the skin or really left the skin as you began? What is a good shaving cream for you? What can you compare it with?

    Sorry for all these quesitions. They are not meant to be answered, just food for thought in the future when reviewing a shaving cream. :)

    Deal breaker for me is a shaving cream that coats the razor blades, for example, so good to know that. :)

  11. Lewis

    I never tried this cream but the best I have tried so far is Al’s Shaving Cream ( It lathers really ( well and leaves my skin free of irritation.

  12. I notice that this post doesn’t have the tech guy tag. Was that done on purpose?

    Other than that, this is definitely my favorite post Shaun’s ever written. XD