Monday, July 26th, 2010

AXE Snake Peel

The Tech Guy Shaun, aka The Tech Guy, aka my boyfriend, is here with another must-read “manly” review. He’s twenty-seven with normal-to-dry skin and suffers from no more acne (much to my envy!). Can you tell he’s on an AXE kick? ‘Cause I think he maybe raided the entire shelf…

Shaun enjoys long walks on the beach, vegging out on the couch watching chick flicks, and cuddling with Mellan. Or maybe not! He handles all the behind-the-scenes action here at Temptalia, from tech support to server woes to being my shoulder to cry on.

Here marks the end of our tour of AXE products (hopefully). We’ll finish off with AXE Snake Peel Shower Scrub ($5.49). I guess what they were going for is some sort of body exfoliator, but they did not accomplish their goal. Instead of exfoliation, it feels like you’ve been to the beach and are trying to get the sand off. I assume that’s what they mean by “desert minerals,” because, once again, the ingredient list reads like Egyptian hieroglyphics. Three wavy lines means water!

AXE seems to continually mold things to be gripped in the most awkwardly way possible.  Instead of the man grip of doom, they mold the bottle in a way that no mortal man could squeeze. I guess it should be called the Zeus grip, because only Zeus would be able to squeeze out any product based on the grip AXE wants you to use. Look at that, this review is turning into an Egyptian and Greek history lesson.

Smell-wise… Generic man-smell… I wonder where these smells are thought up, because every one of them smells practically identical. After heavy usage of this product, it made Christine have a sneezing fit, so I guess if you are partial to repelling women away from you, then this might be for you. This product should be used by the likes of Brad Pitt and that guy who plays the lead in Twilight–Edward Von Vampiro or whatever his name is.

Recommendation: Useful if you’ve never used a real body exfoliant. Not that I’d know anything about that… *whistles* …. *runs*

Just in case you haven’t heard, I’m on twitter (@shauntechguy) and apart from hilarious updates I go into detail about the sordid life of a Temptalia Tech Guy. Filled with adventures such as: Complaining about coding, complaining about the server, and complaining about making videos.

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Sunday, July 25th, 2010

Illamasqua Volt Illumine Oil
Illamasqua Volt Illumine Oil

Less Bronze, More Galactic

Illamasqua Volt Illumine Oil (£32.00 for 100ml) is the same lovely formula as Pulse, but it gives off a very different look. This look is less sun goddess and more moon goddess–it’s a mix of iridescent blue and violet and white shimmer. I think this would be especially beautiful on those with cooler skin tones, because it will really set them off. Less coconutty scent, more general tropics feel–again, doesn’t seem to linger on me.

If you want to know more about how products are evaluated, read out Rating System FAQ! :)

  • Product: 28/30
  • Value: 8/10
  • Ease of Use: 4/5
  • Packaging: 4/5

RECOMMENDATION: If you find golden body oils to be too unnatural on you, Volt may be a nice way to give you the same shimmer-sheen look with a more natural look.

AVAILABILITY: Illamasqua

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Sunday, July 25th, 2010

Illamasqua Pulse Illumine Oil
Illamasqua Pulse Illumine Oil

Go Golden Bronze!

Illamasqua Pulse Illumine Oil (£32.00 for 100ml) is a quick-drying, fast-absorbing golden bronze shimmer-sheen oil. This is an excellent product to use on legs and shoulders for an extra glow on a night out on the town. A little goes a long way, and I love that it dries down and still gives off that soft sheen but doesn’t feel oily or slick. The shimmer is subtle that it doesn’t look like you’ve bathed in body glitter, and it’s as natural as shimmer is ever going to look. There seems to be a very subtle coconutty scent, but it’s barely there and doesn’t linger for more than a few minutes on me.

If you want to know more about how products are evaluated, read out Rating System FAQ! :)

  • Product: 28/30
  • Value: 8/10
  • Ease of Use: 4/5
  • Packaging: 4/5

RECOMMENDATION: If you love glowy, slightly sunkissed legs, I think you’d love Pulse. It’s not going to be a self-tanner or bronzer, but it is going to accentuate your natural tan and skin tone.

AVAILABILITY: Illamasqua

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Wednesday, July 21st, 2010

The Tech Guy Shaun, aka The Tech Guy, aka my boyfriend, is here with another must-read “manly” review. He’s twenty-seven with normal-to-dry skin and suffers from no more acne (much to my envy!).   Can you tell he’s on an AXE kick?  ‘Cause I think he maybe raided the entire shelf…

Shaun enjoys long walks on the beach, vegging out on the couch watching chick flicks, and cuddling with Mellan. Or maybe not! He handles all the behind-the-scenes action here at Temptalia, from tech support to server woes to being my shoulder to cry on.

Well, the sponge (aka AXE Detailer Shower Tool; $5.99) is part of my AXE product tri-fecta. And frankly? I don’t like it! It’s too small for my hand, and it will probably only fit the creator’s hand correctly. It has these grips that if your fingers are positioned correctly create the man grip of doom. I don’t know who would wash themselves with a grip like this, but it looks like how you’d grip a sword on the way to battle.It has hard plastic around perimeter and once it gets a bit of suds on it becomes too slippery to get a decent grip on. It has little cut in grooves to try and combat this, but they fail miserably.

The sponge itself is too small to get any large area of the body efficiently and leaves you with a “I missed a spot” feeling. The funny thing is that it’s not good in “tight” areas either. It’s too unwieldy because of the hard plastic and doesn’t form well enough to get the intimate curves of a man’s flesh.

On the opposite end there’s a scruffy sandpaper like side that is apparently used for buffing the rough edges on your body. I don’t know where the typical guy would use this, but I have scruffy elbows and tried using it on them. It feels like what you’d expect sand paper to feel on your body–like pain. It didn’t seem to do anything about my rough edges, because I still scratched Christine when I was elbowing her out of the way to get to the last piece of pie.

Recommendation: Might be useful to someone if you’ve never used the all powerful MESH POUF BATH SPONGE.

FYI – I’m on Twitter at: @shauntechguy. Followers receive benefits such as: The ability to read my tweets, a significant boost in self-confidence, weight loss, increased intelligence, and telekinesis!*

*Individual results may vary.

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Tuesday, July 13th, 2010

The Tech Guy Shaun, aka The Tech Guy, aka my boyfriend, is here with another must-read “manly” review. He’s twenty-seven with normal-to-dry skin and suffers from no more acne (much to my envy!).  After much brouhaha over AXE commercials, he decided to give it a try himself (I really think he was hoping for hilarity to report back with)–but let me tell you, I kept sneezing every time he wore this!  Not offensive necessarily but really got my allergies going.

Shaun enjoys long walks on the beach, vegging out on the couch watching chick flicks, and cuddling with Mellan. Or maybe not! He handles all the behind-the-scenes action here at Temptalia, from tech support to server woes to being my shoulder to cry on.

I’ve never been one of THOSE guys… You know, the club going, glittery shirt, spiky hair kind of guy? But I’ve heard a lot of negative stuff about AXE and its various products that are seemingly targeting THAT guy. So, being on the outside looking in… And I don’t mean the guy in the line outside of the club looking in… COME ON, I’VE BEEN WAITING OUT HERE FOR THREE HOURS! Ahem, I decided to give AXE Body Spray a try.

First, if you are a guy, you have to realize that this isn’t an antiperspirant.  It’s not going to stop you from sweating when you are cutting a rug and showing unsightly spots around the pit region of your brand new glittery Ed hardy shirt. As for the smell, I took a whiff of various models and picked one with the least offending odor. To me, it just smells like generic man smell. I couldn’t differentiate it with any other man body spray.

The usage is a bit odd. They tell you to spray six inches away from your body, and while this gives you full coverage it also sprays about half of it into the atmosphere causing a hole in the ozone layer directly above you. I think this is the reason why most guys who use this stuff end up turning a bright orange color.

If you don’t douse yourself in the stuff, it lingers for a decent amount of time and will cover any frosted tip or hair wax smell that you may be harboring. On the bottle it claims that there’s “citrus extract,” but a quick look at the ingredient list yields a list of words so foreign to the human eye that it might as well be in KLINGON! Star Trek reference! BOOYAH!

RECOMMENDATION: It’s not for me. I don’t think it’s a bad product, but I would rather have a deodorant that prevents sweating and doesn’t potentially blind me if I go too medieval with the spray can.

Just FYI, you can follow me on twitter @shauntechguy. If I ever decide to take over the world all of my twitter followers will be exempt from slave labor. Just keep that in mind.

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Wednesday, June 30th, 2010

Stript

Going Brazilian @ Stript

Last week, I had my first-ever waxing experience (of any body part), and I just took the bull by its horns and had a Brazilian done. I went to Stript Wax Bar. Stript is owned by the lovely, puts-you-right-at-comfort Katherine Goldman, a local Bay Area esthetician. Stript is all about waxing, whether it’s brows, legs, or down under for ladies AND gents. They have three locations: San Francisco, Oakland, and Palo Alto. I visited their Palo Alto location near Stanford University for an appointment with Katherine, and I was so impressed by the service, I immediately booked my maintenance appointment for four weeks out!

First up, a quick Q&A session with Katherine on some of those first-time waxer questions I had to get answers on before I went under the… wax.  Then, a more detailed rundown of the experience itself–but let me just say getting my upper lip threaded was 10x more painful than getting a Brazilian. Continue reading →